#31 - Dawn's Wicked Stepsister

Timeline: 

AGAIN - No timeline. So it has to still be the end of May, their 8th grade year. Seriously, give us a timeline here ANN.

Plot:
Continuing from the last book, Dawn's mom and MaryAnne's dad literally just got married and the book starts exactly where the last one left off, with the bouquet toss. MaryAnne catches it, which just starts everything off on the wrong foot. I'm not sure why either of them felt like they should be the one to catch it, since they are 13, but each girl felt it was owed to them.

The families merge, and it is just a disaster, for real. The girls are bitchy with each other, but for some reason they still think it's a great idea to share a room. So they shove all their shit into one room, even though MaryAnne's dresser has to be in another room because it just won't fit. They fight and battle it out, and they are just SO rude to each other.

They have a family cleaning day, and Dawn is just a bitch - she switches Richard's organized sock drawer around, just to be a bitch. Everything comes to a head when the girls are doing homework in their room and fight over music being played. Richard sides with Dawn and Sharon sides with MaryAnne, and then MaryAnne stomps off to the guest room.

Dawn then decides to go really low, and she calls her brother Jeff for advice on how to trick MaryAnne into leaving her room without having to actually talk to her about it. They plot this seriously terrible idea to scare the shit out of her with the secret passage. It works, and MaryAnne moves into the spare room. Then the family has a coming to Jesus meeting and everyone agrees to work on getting along better.

Sub plot was that the entire Pike family gets sick or injured. 

Takeaways:
Dawn is TERRIBLE in this book. I don't like her at all, officially. Couldn't she have just been like "look - we know this isn't working, one of us should move to the spare room. But I want to stay in here because I love the secret passage, do you mind?" and MaryAnne would have said that's fine, and everything would have been fine.

MaryAnne is also very un-MaryAnne in this book, which makes me feel like Dawn was lying about it. Like MaryAnne calls Dawn fat and then makes fun of her for not having a boyfriend. It is just very uncharacteristic.

Richard makes Sharon bacon every single morning, even though she doesn't eat meat. Richard, why are you wasting that delicious bacon?

Mallory gets the chicken pox, and I know that is terrible and itchy, but she is so pouty/whiny and annoying.

Best character: 
When Dawn wants advice on MaryAnne, she goes to Kristy. And even though Kristy is jealous and hurt, she talks to her for quite awhile. Kristy wins this week.

Worst character:
Do I really need to say it? Fucking Dawn! 

#30 - MaryAnne and the Great Romance

Timeline: 

No timeline. So it has to still be the end of May, their 8th grade year.

Plot:
MaryAnne's dad and Dawn's mom have been on like 25 dates, so they decide to get married. They clearly had already planned on it, but then Mr. Spier decides to surprise Mrs. Schafer on her birthday with a fancy dinner and engagement ring. MaryAnne and Dawn then plan a huge ass wedding in their heads, but they are shot down with their parents tell them they want a quiet, lowkey event, very soon.

It is decided that MaryAnne and her dad will move in with the Schafer's and when MaryAnne finds out she loses her goddamned mind. But then she gets over it. Her and Dawn decide to share a room.

The wedding is a little event, and then they go out to lunch. At that point MaryAnne starts worrying about her new life, then Mrs. Schafer throws the bouquet, and it's headed right towards MaryAnne and Dawn and.....to be continued.

Takeaways:
At the wedding lunch, Mr. Spier tries to feed Mrs. Spier veal. After 25 dates and now a marriage, he doesn't know she's a vegetarian? He acts all butt hurt when she doesn't accept it.

MaryAnne cries through the entire fucking wedding. Seriously. I know it's emotional, but get your life together. She completely messed up all of her makeup that Claudia wasted time doing for her.

The subplot in this book is that the Arnold twins hate each other because they have to share a room. MaryAnne sees that, and suggest that maybe a little distance will help. But does she take her own advice? Nope.

Best character: 
Probably Mr. Spier, because he plans a pretty nice proposal and then he gives MaryAnne a necklace he was saving for her 18th birthday that was her mother's.

Worst character:
Probably Mr. Spier, for trying to feed a vegetarian meat.

#29 - Mallory and the Mystery Diary

Timeline: 

No timeline. No holidays, no weather. Still towards the end of their 8th grade/6th grade year. 

Plot:
Stacey and her mom moved into an old house behind Mallory's in the last book, so they are moving and throwing things out. Mallory goes over to help and they find this dusty old trunk in the attic. It is locked, but Mallory loves it and Mrs. McGill says she can have it. Mallory stares at it for awhile and then has the triplets bust it open. In it, there is a diary from a girl who lived in the 1800's. Her mother dies, and a portrait of her goes missing. Her father gets the blame, and Sophie desperately wants to clear her father's name.

Mallory is also tutoring Buddy Barrett because he can't read. Stacey also tells Charlotte about the mystery, and between Charlotte and Buddy they solve the mystery. The painting was painted over because Sophie's father couldn't bear to look at his dead daughter. But then he doesn't want to admit he was sad, so he blamed Sophie's dad for the painting being missing. 

Takeaways:
Mallory is such a nerd in this book. She says she "races" home from school so she can look at her trunk. Look at it. This was before she had the triplets open it. I loved Mallory books as a kid, but I don't remember her being this nerdy.

Mallory starts to tutor Buddy, and she comes up with all these creative ways to teach him to read better. However, when they first get started, she wonders if Buddy might develop a crush on her. It was just such an out of place sentence, and Buddy never gives her any reason to think he has a crush on her.

When the mystery gets going, Mallory wants to hold a seance to reach Sophie's spirit. Kristy totally takes over and insists on running it, and then dresses like a...something (I don't think you're supposed to say gypsy anymore, but that's what she dressed as), and completely ruins the whole thing. No one seemed to care, but I would have been kinda pissed. 

Best character:
Buddy Barrett - he literally solves the mystery.

Worst character:
Kristy for ruining the seance.

#28 - Welcome Back, Stacey!

Timeline: 

Again, doesn't say, so we can assume spring of their 8th grade year. They are still in school and when Stacey moves back to Stoneybrook, she jumps back into 8th grade again. So she was gone less than a school year. 

Plot:
Stacey's parents are battling it out lately, and finally decide to get a divorce. This means that Stacey needs to decide which parent she is going to live with - her dad is going to stay in New York, and her mom is trying to decide where to live - if Stacey wants to live with her, she is going back to Stoneybrook. If not, she will pick some other small town somewhere else.

Stacey hems and haws and writes pro/con list, and then finally decides on Stoneybrook. Obviously.

That's really all that happens in this book. 

Takeaways:
Stacey's dad "sleeps in his office" often. Nope. He "sleeps at his girlfriends".

I did really feel for Stacey during this book. That's a really tough position for a 13 year old to be in. But I was really happy she chose Stoneybrook - her reasons for going back were far less snobby than her reasons for staying in New York. Plus, I kind of got the feeling that her dad would be fine without her, and her mom really needed her. 

Best character:
Even though Laine turns into a huge B later in the series (spoiler alert), she was the best in this book. Stacey cannot make up her mind, and Laine never really pressures her to stay. And on the day the McGill's are all moving, she comes and brings them breakfast, and then just stays throughout the entire day to see them off. Very touching. 

Worst character:
I don't think there really is a worst character in this book - maybe the McGill's, for getting divorced in the first place?

#27 Jessi and the Superbrat

Timeline: 

Doesn't really say, but school is still in session so we're going to say the end of 6th grade for Jessi and Mal, end of 8th grade for everyone else. 

Plot:

Everyone in Stoneybrook is obsessed with this show on television, PS 162. (I think that's what it's called.) it's a good show, but also one of the main characters is a kid from Stoneybrook, Derek Masters. The Masters family is coming back to town for awhile, and they of course need a babysitter so Jessi takes the job. Derek is nervous about starting school again, and tells Jessi all about this terribly mean boy named John. Jessi works hard at making friends for Derek and it works, pretty soon he has a ton of friends and all is well. He stops talking about John. 

Jessi is also auditioning for a production of Swan Lake. She has to do three try outs, and she starts doubting herself. She tells Derek, and he convinces her that she would be a better model and actress anyway, so forget about ballet. She takes his advice, until she finds out she made it. Then ballet is her first love and all is well again. 

Derek gets a role in a movie, so the family has to move back to California. Jessi and the girls throw him a goodbye party, and Jessi tries to invite John but can't figure out who he is. She asks Derek, who admits he made John up and he was actually being the jerky superbrat. 

Takeaways:
Jessi gets nervous about ballet and thinks she won't get a part in Swan Lake, so she immediately says she doesn't like ballet anyway and wants to be a model. I do that same thing - when I think I'm not going to succeed at something, I claim I wasn't really interested anyway. I am sure a lot of people do this.

There is something kind of creepy about how Jessi keeps saying Derek is her friend. He's like 8 years old. But she is ready to, like, give up her life and move to California with him. 

Best character:
The other baby-sitters really weren't in this book at all. It was very Jessi centered. But I will say the best character is Karen Brewer. Kristy is baby-sitting her, and Karen begs her to meet Derek Masters bc Karen thinks Derek can get her into movies. Kristy refuses, so Karen makes up an entire play about how terrible Kristy is for silencing her talent.

Worst character:
There really isn't a worse character. Jessi gets kind of annoying when she thinks she needs to be a model, but she gets over it relatively quickly. Derek is a brat, but he's 8 and a television star, so that is to be expected. There are some really catty ballerinas trying out for Swan Lake with Jessi, but they don't get parts, so they get their karma. 

 

 

#26 Claudia and the Sad Goodbye

Timeline: 
No real time line mention - I'm assuming end of spring still. They are still in school because Claudia misses a ton of it because of her sad goodbye.

Plot: 
I legit fucking cried through this entire book. I don't even remember really crying as a kid while reading this book.

Claudia's grandma, Mimi, hasn't been doing well since her stroke and things keep getting worse. She has a weird fainting episode at the dinner table one night, so they take her to the ER and she gets admitted. They can't find anything wrong with her, so they send her home. She faints again, goes back to the hospital and dies.

UGHHH.

Also, Claudia and MaryAnne are teaching an art class for neighborhood kids. One of the kids, Cori, gets super attached to Claudia because her parents are always ditching her and they suck. Claudia stands up to her mom and tells her to get her shit together. So she does, and Cori's life is a lot better because of Claudia.

Takeaways:
UGHHH. I seriously could not stop crying through this entire book. I was a mess. I kept thinking about how sad I will be when my grandparents die.

One thing that kind of annoys me about these books is how mature everyone acts. Like - Gabby Perkins is only 2.5, but somehow she can sing, tap dance and take an art class? That is not that much older than my niece Quinn, and there is no way Quinn could just be taking an art class like an adult. Also, Jamie Newton is 4, same age as my nephew, Alex. Jamie is taking the art class and speaks like a grown ass man. I cannot.

Again, I can't emphasize enough how much I cried reading this book.

Also, it mentions how Stacey's parents fight and her dad stays in New York instead of coming to the funeral.

Best character:
Ugh, I don't know.

Actually, it's Janine. When Mimi dies, they just shut her bedroom door and pretend it's not there. But Janine is the one who opens it and kind of forces the family to deal with it, and good thing they did since Mimi had left things for them all in her room. Including an obituary where she listed the DATE AND YEAR OF HER OWN DEATH. Because she knew that.

Worst character:
Mimi, for dying, and destroying my day.

#25 MaryAnne and the Search for Tigger

Timeline: 
No real timeline is mentioned, so we will assume this is like mid-end of May, since the last book was on Mother's Day

Plot: 
MaryAnne is like, scarily obsessed with her cat and for some reason all the neighborhood kids are too. Logan doesn't really get it. He thinks that cat is fine, but gets annoyed when MaryAnne wants to sit outside with all the neighborhood kids and watch the damn cat play. Logan is pretty irritable with MaryAnne through the whole book, actually.

For some reason, though, when MaryAnne has to go across the street to Claudia's, she leaves Tigger outside. Even though she mentions a lot throughout the book how overprotective she is of her cat. So of course, when she comes back, Tigger is missing.

The entire rest of the book involves them looking for Tigger. The piece together $30 as a reward and hang up posters. They get a lead, they think, but it's just some kid messing with them. They pull off an elaborate prank on the kid who is fucking with them, but it still ends up with the same dreary, sad conclusion - Tigger is missing. Because Mary left him outside.

Then one afternoon MaryAnne is babysitting for Logan's brother and sister, and she finds Tigger in Logan's sister's closet. Ends up she found Tigger on the side of the road (MaryAnne's fault) and took him home to prove to her parents she is responsible enough to have a pet, and that it wouldn't affect Hunter, her brother's allergies. She was wrong on all accounts. So was MaryAnne, for leaving her fucking cat outside in the first place.

Oh, and MaryAnne is convinced Logan knew where Tigger was the whole time, and that's why he's been so moody. But really he didn't know, he's just mad about baseball. So they make up.

Takeaways:
This book was seriously so boring. All they do is look for a damn cat the whole book.

I cannot get over the fact that MaryAnne just left this stupid cat outside. If I let my cats outside, they would be fucking gone. #maybeishouldletmycatsout

Logan being all upset about baseball totally reminded me of my high school boyfriend. If he had a bad game, it was better to just avoid him for a few days.


Best character:
The entire baby-sitters club, except for MaryAnne. They all donate money to the reward fund, help MA hang posters, help her search endlessly, and then help her take posters down after Tigger is found.

Worst character:
MaryAnne, why did you leave your FUCKING CAT OUTSIDE?!