#69 - Get Well Soon, Mallory!

Timeline
Halloween and Thanksgiving both happen in this book - so late fall of their 4th 8th grade/6th grade year.

Plot
It has been hinted for awhile that Mallory is sick. She was always too tired to do anything, couldn't sit up straight, etc. Finally one morning she wakes up and everything hurts, her throat is on fire and her temp is super high. Her mom takes her to the doctor, and it ends up she has mono. She is prescribed at least a month in bed.

The Pike family is invited to New York to watch the Thanksgiving Day parade with her mom's cousins. It's about a month out, so everyone is hoping Mallory is well enough to go. Also, The Pike parents tell Mallory that all she can do is rest and homework - so no BSC until she is completely better.

She bitches a lot about how bored she is, and then she realizes that the BSC is probably really struggling without her. They were already struggling since Dawn left for California. So at first Mallory tries to help out as much as she can from her bed. Then all of a sudden she is like "they need to kick me out, so I'll just be a dick to them so they do." She starts rumors about the BSC members to each other, she refuses to do anything, she is totally rude and mean to them all. But they are on to her and tell her they won't kick her out no matter how rude and terrible she is being.

For some reason, the BSC decides that since they are two members down and extremely busy, that this is the perfect time to take on a huge fucking project. They organize a Thanksgiving day event at Stoneybrook Manor. They put together baskets (which requires a huge fundraising campaign), and create a "Thanksgiving fair" with games and prizes. Of course they get everything done (in only like 12 days, which is ridic).

After the event, the go over to the Pike's and give Mallory her own personal Thanksgiving day fair. The Pike parents decide that Mallory is too sick to go to New York, so no one can go. At first everyone is pissy about it, but they seem to have a nice Thanksgiving at home. After that, Kristy comes over with a new BSC ad that they are putting out and asks Mallory if she wants her name on it. Mallory bites the bullet and says no. So she's out of the BSC for the time being.

Takeaways
For this Thanksgiving day fundraiser, all the neighborhood kids donate their allowances. It's very nice, but I don't know how realistic it is.

I hope the BSC members are keeping track of all the community service projects they are doing for their college applications.

When I was a senior in college I swore I had mono. It turns out I was just lazy.

Best Character
All the little kids who donate their allowances. And all the Pike kids who are super supportive of Mallory and don't bitch too much when they don't get to go to the Thanksgiving day parade in New York.

Worst Character
There isn't really a worst character in this book. Mallory is sick, so she gets a pass. The BSC is super patient and supportive. The Pike family is super patient and supportive.

#68 - Jessi and the Bad Baby-sitter

Timeline
4th time through 6th/8th grade, and it's still fall - Buddy Barrett mentions that Halloween is right around the corner.

Plot
Dawn left for California for six months in the last book, and Mallory is annoyingly sick (always tired, but doesn't know what's wrong with her). The BSC is in TROUBLE. They have to call Logan and Shannon hundreds of times, and they've even had to TURN DOWN JOBS. Kristy is in total fucking panic mode. Jessi has a new friend, Wendy, who came over to her house and was really good with Becca and Squirt, so she suggest maybe they can invite her to join the club.

Wendy comes to a meeting, and then her and Jessi baby-sit the Barrett's together, and it all goes well so they ask her to join the club. Great. It all goes well for about a day. Then Wendy is 25 minutes late to a 30 minute meeting. Then she admits she is still taking jobs for her regular clients and not offering them to the club first. Then she is late for a sitting job with Jessi at the Pike's. Then she comes to a meeting and is pissed because she had to leave a Super Mario Brothers tournament to come to the stupid meeting. Kristy jumps down her throat, and Wendy is like fuck this and quits. So the club is back to square one.

The sub plot is that all the kids in Stoneybrook miss Dawn so they decide to put on a play and record it and send it to her. Little did they know, Dawn was making the same kind of thing for them. Aw. Then Dawn calls and the club starts to worry that she won't be coming back at all.

Oh, and another weird subplot is that Margo is a little thief - she's started shoplifting just to see if she can get away with it? Jessi sees her in action and tells her she has to tell her parents, which she doesn't, and then she tells Mallory who forces Margo to tell her parents. Mrs. Pike takes Margo to the store and makes her tell the manager. It's pretty good parenting.

Takeaways
I hate how every time the BSC needs to find new members, Kristy acts super bitchy and interrogates them about their sitting skills. It's like 1. Who the fuck made you queen of baby-sitting? and 2. You need them, bitch. That's why you asked them to come to the meeting. You need them way worse than they need you.

I understand that the club needs rules in order to function, but Kristy is a huge bitch about them to Wendy. No one tells her the rules. And then they act pissy when she breaks them.

And what do we think about Wendy having to tell all her previous clients (like her neighbors, basically), that now they have to wait until 530 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to call and set up an appt with her, and basically she may not get the job anyway? It just sucks bc the baby-sitters are so far up each other's asses that she can't even lie and just not tell them, because basically they think they should always know where each other are.

Like really, Jessi invited Wendy to join and she should have been the one to tell her the rules. So this whole thing is Jessi's fault.

I love how Mrs. Pike handled the shoplifting thing. No yelling, just making Margo own up to it.

Best Character
Mrs. Pike.

Worst Character
Jessi, for not explaining to Wendy what she was getting herself into. And Kristy, for not realizing she is operating a baby-sitting CLUB. It's not a fucking mega-million corporation, Kristy.

#67 - Dawn's Big Move

Timeline
School has started yet again, so it's the beginning of the fourth 8th grade year.

Plot
School has started again, business is booming and Stoneybrook is having a huge community event that everyone is psyched for. However, Dawn cannot shake her depression that she has been hinting towards for several books now. She misses her dad, Jeff and California and wants to go home.

She blurts this out during a particularly fun and sweet family moment and completely kills the mood. But, relatively quickly, everyone just adjusts and before you know it, Dawn has a ticket for a six month trip back to California.

After that, Dawn starts struggling because it seems like everyone is fine with her leaving. Then she starts to really enjoy life and starts thinking she is crazy for wanting to leave. She goes back and forth for awhile, but eventually gets on the plane. Also, all the BSC members and all the kids they babysit for have a going away party for her.

While all of the back and forth is going on, everyone is preparing for Run for Your Money, a big community event against a neighboring town to raise money for charity. It is a huge event with a million events, and teams got to sign up for whatever they wanted. Each family has a team, and then the BSC has a team, of course. Stoneybrook ends up winning, obviously.

Takeaways
Stoneybrook has more community events than any town I've ever heard of. No one should ever bitch about being bored there, there is literally something going on every weekend.

I think Dawn is so so selfish with this whole six month trip. Like seriously. You are "so close" to your mom, but you can do this to her? Also, why not just go for like two weeks and get a California fix? Or wait for a school break like a normal person?

To be honest, this book was pretty dull. Dawn is sad, Dawn is excited, Dawn is sad again. Everyone is sad she is leaving, but kind of fine with it.

Also, MaryAnne doesn't really cry that much in this book, which is weird.

Best Character
I would say Dawn's mom is the best. It has to be killing her, but she's just like "okay, here's your ticket."

Worst Character
Dawn is pretty selfish, so we'll go with her.

#66 - Maid Mary Anne

Timeline
Summer after their 3rd 8th grade year.

Plot
MaryAnne is on this kick thinking she is selfish and self centered, so she is making a valiant effort to be the most giving person in the world. She takes the kids she is babysitting to visit that goddamned goat from the last book, she ends up meeting the goat's neighbor, Mrs. Towne. Mrs. Towne is really good at sewing and making quilts, so she and MA decide to work out a little side hustle - MA will pay MT to give her sewing lessons. It works well until MT gets hurt; she falls and breaks an ankle. She ends up in the hospital for awhile. MA spends her every waking moment helping her, and then MT is all "hey, rather than pay me with money, how about you work off the cost for your lessons?" so then MA feels even more obligated. MT starts calling all the time, and MA ditches all her friends, and Logan, and club meetings to be at her beck and call.  Her friends are starting to get pissed (she leaves two meetings in a row to run and like, move something out of a closet for MT).

In the meantime, MA has started a "sewing class" for the neighborhood kids. Some girls and two boys, Nicky and Buddy, take the class. They decide to make a quilt for Mrs. T, and the kids are all fucking pumped. Nicky and Buddy start getting made fun of because they are acting like girls and sewing, so they quit and start doing more manly things. Then they realize that the kid making fun of them is just a bully who will make fun of them no matter what, so they rejoin the class in enough time to finish the quilt.

MA finally grows a pair and tells Mrs. T. she needs to stop taking advantage. Mrs. T admits she didn't really need help, she just wanted MA to come over because she is lonely. They make up.

The end.

Takeaways
The visiting hours at this hospital are from 4-530p and 7-830p. Um...that must be an 80's thing because visiting hours now are whenever the hell you want. Also, when I was in the hospital for my neck I can't imagine if I had been alone all that time.

Mrs. Towne is in the hospital and decides to stay a few extra days. Um. Nope. Or maybe insurance was more relaxed back in the 80's, but there is no way in this day and age you could treat a hospital as a hotel.

It is summer in Stoneybrook. The kids are out of school. I 100% don't believe that they would all be so pumped to sit inside and sew.

Dawn whines her ass off throughout this entire book about how Connecticut is not California.

Best Character
MaryAnne wins, because she honestly tried really hard to be a good person, she just gets taken advantage of.

Worst Character
There are a couple. Mrs. T's son, who can't seem to ever make it to Stoneybrook to help his mom. The bully who bullies Nicky and Buddy. And that fucking goat, because anytime it is mentioned in a book it will be the worst.