#52 - MaryAnne and Too Many Babies

Timeline

It must be springtime of their second 8th grade year - it is warm enough for MA to take babies on walks outside with just sweaters on. 

Plot

All of the 8th grade girls are in a class called Modern Living, where they get paired up as a married couple and are given an egg to use as a baby. Logan and MA are partners. Logan acts pretty ridiculous about their egg baby and doesn’t trust MA to take care of her (yes, they pretend the egg is a girl). They try to go on a date but it ends in a fight. 

Finally, the project ends and they both realize they are way too young to have kids and be married. Which I guess is the whole point of the project. 

Also MA has a semi steady sitting job for twin babies, hence the “too many babies” thing. 

Takeaways

These idiots are way too serious about their “egg babies”. They won’t put them down. They cry over them. Seriously it’s a fucking egg. 

In MaryAnne’s class she gets to choose her husband, but it seems like everyone else is assigned. 

The title of this book really doesn’t make a lot of sense, either. 

We had a class like this, too, but it wasn’t until later in high school. I think I was a junior?

Best character

The teacher of the Modern Living class. When the students are freaking out about their marriages and their eggs she’s just like “meh, it’ll buff out.”

Worst character

Kristy is married to Alan Gray and she spends like a half hour on the phone - during a babysitting job - with him to discuss their eggs social development. It’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen in a BSC book. 

#51 - Stacey’s Ex-Best Friend

Timeline

Valentine’s Day, second 8th grade year

Plot

Laine calls Stacey to brag about her week long middle of February school break (wtf is that?) and she’s basically a big bitch on the phone - she has a 15 year told boyfriend named King, she has all these magical options for her break, she calls Stacey “Anastacia” bc it sounds more grown up...but for some reason Stacey still begs her to come spend her break week in Stoneybrook. Laine never really agrees but Stacey kind of steamrolls her and all of a sudden she is in Steoneybrook. 

The visit is a disaster. Laine is a huge fucking bitch, she makes fun of everything about Stacey, the BSC, Stoneybrook and all the kids at SMS. It all comes to a head at the Valentine’s Day dance, where Laine is with Pete Black but she treats him like dog shit. Stacey blows up, Laine blows and then Laine gets on a train to go back to NYC early. Stacey writes her a break up letter and returns her part of their best friend necklace. 

Also, the girls plan a Valentines Day party for their kids, and it goes off well. 

Takeaways

Laine is such a fucking bitch in this book. I can’t believe it takes Stacey so long to blow up at her. 

There really isn’t much more to say about this book. 

Oh,except I still can’t believe how often these girls do “events” for their babysitting clients. 

Best character

Stacey, because she acts 13 and tries to make it work with Laine but it just doesn’t. And after she leaves she apologizes to everyone on her behalf. 

Worst character

Obviously Laine. What a bitch. 

#50 - Dawn’s Big Date

Timeline 

New Years Eve (yes, they skipped the entire holiday season), their 2nd 8th grade year

Plot

It’s New Years Eve and the girls have a slumber party. They all make resolutions, but Dawn makes a secret resolution to make herself more attractive to boys. Then MA tells her a few days later that Logan’s cousin Lewis, who Dawn has been penpals with for awhile, is coming to visit. Dawn decides to test some things out on Lewis. She changes her look, her attitude...everything. She kind of loses her mind. MA encourages the behavior and basically tells Dawn it’s time to change. Then Lewis comes and Dawn sucks, so he doesn’t like her. MA is still acting like a bitch so the girls fight. And the rest of the BSC is annoyed with Dawn acting like a psycho. 

Dawn really wants to use Lewis to figure out how to make boys like her, so she invites him over. About five minutes into the second date she realizes how much her new life sucks and confesses to Lewis that she was changing to impress him. He is like oh thank god, and Dawn changes her clothes and becomes herself again. And he and Dawn fall in love. 

Takeaways 

I think the copy of the book I have is my original from when I was a kid. It literally fell apart in my hands, and I read this book a lot growing up. I loved it. 

Dawn and MA get all these dating tips out of magazines. I remember reading them as a kid and tucking them away into my memory. Like compliment boys, say their names, have “you directed” conversations. 

Dawn is always portrayed as the “easy going, doesn’t care what people think, casual”type person, but almost every book proves that is not true. 

On their first date, Lewis and Dawn and MA and Logan go to see Gone With the Wind. It seriously sounds miserable to sit through that movie on a first date when you’re 13. MA picked it of course. When Dawn picks their second date they go bowling which sounds so much more fun. 

During the first date MA pinches Dawn every time she thinks she does something stupid. It’s so fucking rude. 

Best character

Lewis definitely wins. Dawn is a nutcase and a horrible date, but he still agrees to give her another shot and then tells her how great she was just the way she was. 

Worst character

Dawn and MaryAnne are pretty much tied for this one. 

#49 - Claudia and the Genius of Elm Street

Timeline

Nothing mentioned. It has to be nearing the end of the second 8th grade year right? Claudia mentions the weather is cloudy and cool, so I’m still going with spring. 

Plot

The BSC has a new client, Rosie. Rosie is a genius and an actress and a singer and a piano player. And a dancer. Claudia has nothing in common with her and Rosie is kind of a brat so she dreads babysitting for her. 

As Claudia gets to know her, though, it becomes apparent that Rosie is pretty misunderstood and miserable. She doesn’t want to do all that shit, but her parents make her. She sees Claudia drawing one day and asks some questions, and it ends up that is one of her talents as well. But it is one she actually really enjoys. So Claudia convinces her to talk to her parents, who agree she can take art lessons from Claudia and they will chill about everything else. 

Also, Claudia and the club decide to put on an art show featuring Claudia’s “junk food” series. 

Takeaways

Rosie is in a crossword puzzle contest. What the fuck? Stoneybrook schools are so weird. 

Claudia calls Janine to come over and help Rosie with her homework. Janine does it. It’s kind of weird. And Janine doesn’t like Rosie either. 

Rosie is only 7. Seven. There is no way a seven year old would be like this. The BSC is so off with their ages. 

Best character 

Janine for helping babysit Rosie. Not only does she come with Claudia calls, but also Jessi calls her and she comes running. 

Worst character 

Rosie’s mom - she is an uppidity bitchy stage mom until the very end of the book. 

#48 - Jessi’s Wish

Timeline

Still nothing mentioned, so spring of their second 6th grade/8th grade year

Plot

Some of the kids in Stoneybrook are in this “Kids Club”where they do community service. Jessi’s little sister is in the club and she comes home freaking out bc one of the club sponsors is leaving town for a long time and they have to disband. Jessi decides to step up, if the BSC will allow it, and be the second sponsor so the club can continue. Not only will the BSC allow it, but they all decide to slow down on the babysitting and do some community service for a month. 

While helping this Kids Club, Jessi meets a little girl named Danielle who has cancer. She mentions to Jessi that she wants to go to DisneyLand, and Jessi researches a little and finds the BSC version of Make-A-Wish. They grant her wish, but then at the end of the book Jessi finds out she is back in the hospital. 

Takeaways

The club was so busy last book that they lost their goddamned minds that Mallory wanted to take three weeks off. But somehow now they can all take a month off to do community service?

Becca and Charlotte befriend Danielle when everyone else is kind of scared of her. It’s so sweet. 

I didn’t like this book as a kid. I just plain old didn’t like Jessi books, but also this book is depressing as fuck. 

We have no idea if Danielle lives or dies. We never hear about her again. 

Best character

Jessi, obvi. She’s pretty selfless in this book. 

Worst character

There really isn’t a bad character in this book. Everyone is really nice and thoughtful and giving. 

#47 - Mallory on Strike

Timeline

Again, nothing mentioned. So March/April of their 2nd 6th/8th grade year

Plot
SMS is having a "Young Authors Day" where an author comes and talks to the school and there is a writing contest. Mallory decides to enter under the "Best Overall Story" category, but has trouble finding time to write between the BSC and her needy family. So she decides to go on strike, refusing to take on new babysitting jobs and refusing to help out at home. Her family rolls with it, as does the BSC, who allow her to take two weeks off from baby-sitting. Mallory then writes her story, wins, and then realizes she was kind of a bitch to everyone who knows her. So she takes her siblings out for an adventure day and everyone loves each other again. The end.

Oh, and her parents realize they need to stop using her as free labor and give her a "Mallory" day where she can do whatever she wants. She goes to the mall and a movie and takes Jessi with her.

Takeaways
SMS literally just had an "authors" day in the last book - remember, MaryAnne got grouped with Logan and three authors came to speak and Cokie got embarrassed? That was one book ago.

Mallory is in some special writing class at school, and she clearly has a big crush on her teacher. I think it's one of those situations where someone is really good at what they do and really passionate about it, and that makes them attractive.

The Young Authors Day is on a Saturday, and somehow everyone in Stoneybrook goes and the middle school is packed. Um. What?

On the day when Mallory takes her brothers and sisters on an adventure (which seems like a LOT of work for someone who bitches about how busy she is), they first stop at the Barrett's and play with them for awhile, and then they are like whelp, see ya later. I'm sure the Barrett kids were like WTF, I wanna continue on with your adventure.

I realized during this book that Mallory was handwriting this story out. How annoying.

When Mallory explains to the BSC that she has this huge writing project to do, they act all pissy (well, mostly Kristy acts pissy) and is all like "we all have to be available to our clients". Um. It's a fucking Baby-Sitters Club and Mallory is 11. Stop acting like this is a major publicly traded corporation. Let Mallory take a leave of absence and shut the fuck up about it. 

Best character
Probably Jessi, because she deals with Mallory being a huge c-u-next-tuesday during the entire book, but stays supportive and then helps her with this all day long boring ass adventure with her siblings. 

Worst character
I honestly don't know. Mallory is a b, but she comes around. Maybe Kristy bc she needs to recognize she runs a fucking babysitting club, not a Fortune 500 company.

#46 - MaryAnne Misses Logan

Timeline

Again, nothing mentioned. So March/April of their 2nd 8th grade year

Plot

The 8th graders have a special literary project due, where they are put in groups of four and assigned an author to study. Guess who MaryAnne gets this study? Her favorite author Megan Rineheart. Guess who she gets to study with? Pete Black, Cokie Mason (her enemy) and LOGAN. who she also happens to still be in love with and she wants him back. 

When the group gets going, it becomes clear Cokie is mildly stupid. And she has no intention of doing anything. But to everyone’s surprise, Logan falls into her trap and starts dating her, also neglecting the project. MaryAnne and Pete work without them. 

Then they get a surprise - Megan Rineheart, along with two other authors, are coming to the school to hear the presentations on themselves. Then Logan finally wakes the fuck up and realizes how dumb he’s being. He calls MaryAnne and starts working with her and Pete. Their presentation goes great, except it’s painfully obvious Cokie did nothing and she fails. 

Logan takes MaryAnne out for dinner to thank her. They decide to get back together. The end. 

Takeaways

Cokie is the worst, it she also kind of has balls of steel. She just kinda bulldozes Logan into dating her. 

MA develops so much confidence by the end of the book. She’s all like “the old MA would doubt Logan would call the next day. But the new MA knew he would. So I wasn’t even surprised when he did.”

There is literally no mention of the other babysitters groups or projects in his book. I’m surprised Kristy didn’t end up with Alan Gray. 

There is a whole side story about how one of the baby-sitting families, the Korman’s, are scared of their toilet. It’s pretty stupid. 

Best character

New, badass MA

Worst character

Duh, Cokie. 

#45 - Kristy and the Baby Parade

Timeline

Okay so still no real timeline is mentioned. Kristy mentions it’s gloomy but not really cold. So like March? But it’s also nice enough for a parade to be planned. So who knows. 

Plot

Okay so Mrs. Prezziso wants the club to start babysitting Andrea (her new baby) but wants them to go through a baby training course first. They all do, and guess who aces the final? Kristy, of course. 

So after the baby class is over, the girls move right on to their next project which is entering a float in the Stoneybrook baby parade. What is that, you ask? An entire fucking parade featuring only babies. Yep. So the girls fight over the float theme (finally “The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe”wins), they fight over the decor, they fight over the colors, they fight over the costumes.  The float sucks. 

Kristy also helps Mrs. P with Andrea’s stroller entry, where she dresses up like a queen. She wins. 

The girls realize they were all kind of dicks and it didn’t work out bc none of them worked together. Lesson learned. 

Takeaways

How are there so many babies in Stoneybrook that they need an entire parade? And only kids under 3 are allowed. WTF?! 

When I was a kid I hated this book. But it’s kind of hilarious as an adult. 

Building a float is so hard and Claudia does it all alone. No wonder it sucks. And then Stacey did the paint, but didn’t talk to Claudia. And Mallory did the costumes, but didn’t talk to Stacey or Claudia. And everyone else just sat around and held babies. 

Best character

I really don’t know. They all kind of suck. Maybe Mrs. P because she has this idea for the parade and Andrea - Queen Andrea - and Kristy thinks it’s just the dumbest idea ever, but then she wins. 

Worst character

I think Mallory and Stacey tie bc they don’t talk to each other at all about colors and they end up with an orange float and pink costumes. 

#44 - Dawn and the Big Sleepover

Timeline: 

Winter/early spring of their second 8th grade year

Plot

All the kids in Stoneybrook have pen pals with a sister school. Dawn hears about it from the Pike’s and gets kind of jealous bc she wants one too. Then the pen pals’ school burns down and Dawn decides it’s up to her to organize a giant fundraiser, food/clothing drive and then, as a reward, give the kids a giant sleepover in the school. 

I realize this is lame, but that is literally all that happens in this book. The sleepover happens and it’s loud and annoying but probably kind of fun. And the kids were super pumped to help their friends. 

Takeaways

I feel like there has to be some kind of policy not allowing kids to spend the night in a school. 

Dawn is all worried about Kristy taking over the project and taking all the credit. That doesn’t happen. 

The kids start donating their parents stuff without asking. It’s kind of hilarious. The parents are way cooler about it than they should have been - they actually bought it back from them, rather than just taking it back. 

Best character

I mean, Dawn does something very selfless in this book for a bunch of kids thousands of miles away that she doesn’t even know. So Dawn. 

Worst character

Mrs. Rodowsky tells her boys they can have a yard sale but then hires Claudia to run it. Can the parents in Stoneybrook never do anything with their children???

#43 - Stacey's Emergency

Timeline: 
Nothing really mentioned, so we will assume late winter/early spring of their 2nd 8th grade year.

Plot:
Stacey hasn't been feeling well in a long time, and then she goes off the rails with her diet and starts eating candy/chocolate on the daily (she's diabetic in case you forgot). She goes to visit her dad in New York and winds up in the hospital for TWO ENTIRE WEEKS. Basically while her cheating on her diet didn't help anything, it wasn't the main cause for her entire body to break down. They get her blood sugar under control and send her back to Stoneybrook, where she has to be out of school for another week.

Oh, and while in the hospital Stacey's parents hate each other and can't be in the room together. Then Stacey demands they both stay there, and gets all pissed off when they start fighting. So she kicks them both out.

Side story is that Charlotte, her favorite sitting charge, loses her mind bc Stacey is in the hospital and becomes a hypochondriac. But then when Stacey gets out of the hospital she is fine.

Takeaways:
The BSC members take a train to visit Stacey, and the first thing Kristy does is make fun of Stacey for whining. I mean...Stacey is a whiner, but she is also in the hospital and you came to visit her. That just rubbed me the wrong way.

At the beginning of this book, everyone was acting like it was the biggest deal in the world that Stacey was going to New York. Doesn't she do this all the time? I thought she visited her dad often.

Stacey's biggest complaint with the hospital (besides the food) is that no one knew or cared who she was. I realize New York hospitals are much bigger than the ones in Omaha, but when I was in the hospital for an entire week, everyone knew who I was. And not just because I was known as a difficult patient. But because they are in the medical field and patient care if their fucking job.

When Stacey eats chocolate, she acts like my sister Amanda does when she eats hamburgers (shout out to you, Amanda, because I know you're the only person who reads this blog).

Best character: 

Um. Probably Laine, because she visits Stacey in the hospital every day and brings her presents. Also, she keeps the BSC members pretty well informed of everything that is happening. 

Worst character:

Stacey's parents both kinda suck. They can't put their differences aside long enough to support Stacey in the hospital. And Stacey kinda sucks, because she's fucking eating chocolate on the daily but doesn't bother to tell anyone when she feels like she might die. Also, Charlotte, for turning Stacey's illness into something that is all about her. But she's only 8, so I guess she gets a pass. 

#42 - Jessi and the Dance School Phantom

Timeline: 
Nothing is really mentioned, so we can assume it's right after the 2nd Valentine's Day of their 8th grade/6th grade year.

Plot:
Jessi gets the lead role of Princess Aurora in Sleeping Beauty at her ballet school. Everyone in the class is super jealous of her, but someone takes it a little too far. This psycho hose beast, or "Dance School Phantom" leaves threatening notes, steals Jessi's expensive ballet attire, returns it but destroys it first, and leaves her a thorny rose. It's downright terrifying.

With the help of the BSC, Jessi narrows down her list of suspects to three. Finally, she figures out it is this bitch, Hilary, who hates dancing but her mom makes her do it and she is basically in trouble at home for losing the starring role to Jessi. Hilary apologizes, begs her not to tell anyone and Jessi agrees but holds it over her head to make her behave.

While all of this is happening, the BSC is planning a pet show for the neighborhood kids. All the kids start fighting about whose pet will win, and Jessi comes up with the idea to give all the kids a prize for their pet. Everyone is happy.

Jessi dances her dance, and she kills it.

The end.


Takeaways:
Okay you guys...I legit broke down in tears at the end of the book when Jessi is amazing in her role. Her sister and the BSC bring roses to the stage. It is making me teary eyed now.

I cannot believe how these girls never ask adults for help. You know what I would have down after the first terrifying note? Showed my parents. Who would have made me show my teacher. The end.

I really don't have much else to say about this book. It was mostly about Jessi trying to catch this phantom. She catches her by asking her to make a sign for her, and Hilary pulls out the same marker (calligraphy) as what was used on the notes. It was kind of stupid. Like why didn't Hilary just be all "yeah so? a lot of people have these pens?" Plus, how lucky is it she happened to grab the same marker. I don't know. The whole thing seemed dumb and anticlimactic.

Best character: 

Probably Jessi, because we really didn't spend time with any other characters in this book. And she did make me cry with her beautiful dancing at the end. 

Worst character:

I mean, obviously Hilary, the dance school phantom. But Becca also bothered me during this book, constantly bitching that all she had to enter in the pet show was their hamster. Be thankful you have a pet at all, Becca!

#41 MaryAnne vs Logan

Timeline: 
We've skipped all the holidays and jumped right to February, specifically Valentine's Day - so their second Valentine's Day of their 8th grade year.

Plot:
MaryAnne loves Logan, but lately she's been feeling smothered by him. He always takes the lead and plans all their dates, tries to convince her to ditch her friends/babysitting jobs to hang out with him, etc. On a particularly freezing day when MA just wants to stay inside and read, he randomly shows up at her house so they can go ice skating, build snowmen, make snow angels, etc. MaryAnne begs him to take her home, and he gets all huffy.

She decides they need to chill out so she can think, so she tells him she wants to cool off their relationship for awhile. He gets mad, but has no choice but to do it. So a few weeks go by, and then he calls during a BSC meeting and asks her to babysit on Valentine's Day. She agrees, but when she gets there it's a romantic date night Logan has arranged. She reminds him that she wanted to cool off for awhile, and he's all "we did, that's over now". So MA is frustrated.

Finally, she decides enough is enough. So she asks him to go to the park, and she dumps him.

Also, Jenny Prezzizo's mom is having a baby, and Jenny is a huge brat about it until the baby is born, and then she is obsessed with her sister.

Takeaways:
It's weird how MA is such a follower, but she gets mad when Logan plans everything for her.

Also, it's kind of creepy that Logan wants to "show everyone what a great couple they are" when they are ice skating. It's just weird for an 8th grade boy to care about "showing" people what a great couple he and his 8th grade girlfriend are.

Best character: 

I don't even know. I guess MA because she finally stands up for herself?

Worst character:

There really isn't a worst character. Logan is kind of overbearing, but then he cries when he gets dumped so that's sad. I guess I will say Jenny, because she's quite the little b word about her new sister coming. 

#40 - Claudia and the Middle School Mystery

Timeline: 
No real timeline is mentioned, so we will assume between Halloween and Thanksgiving of their second 8th grade year.

Plot:
Claudia has a math test coming up and it's a big one. Janine has been helping her study and Claudia feels good about it. She takes the test and when she gets it back, she earned a 94%! Say what?!

After class her and another girl, Shawna Riverson, get called up to the front. Turns out they both got the exact same grade and got the exact same questions wrong in the exact same way. One of them cheated. Shawna instantly is like "not it" and the teacher lets her go. With Claudia's shitty school history, obviously it's her, right? She doesn't really say anything and leaves.

The principal calls her parents, who kind of believe that Claudia cheated and then Janine is like "aw hell no." Claudia, Janine and the BSC girls make it a goal to prove Shawna is the cheater. Claudia even overhears Shawna in the bathroom with her bitchy friends admitting she cheated. So now they just have to prove it.

They break into Shawna's locker, find an incriminating note, but realize they can't do anything with it. Claudia does some dumb shit in class, making herself look like a moron and trying to get Shawna to admit it, but of course she doesn't. Finally Janine has had enough and goes to the principal herself. The principal and the teacher decide to let Claudia retake the test, which she does and scores even better. Then the teacher confronts Shawna, who just loses it and admits to everything. Problem solved!

The other plot is that the Pike triplets break another window playing ball but won't fess up as to which one did it. Mallory has them re-enact the event, they see that it's really all of their faults, and their parents unground them and take them out to celebrate their ungrounding.

Takeaways:

Why was it just okay for the teacher to take Shawna's word for it? He should have either given them both F's or made them both retake the test that minute.

The Pike triplets break a window and won't rat each other out. Mallory has them re-enact it. I don't think they point was that they couldn't remember who did it, I think it was that they didn't want to rat on each other. The whole thing was stupid. And the stupidest part? Their parents took them out to celebrate after they finally were like "it's all of our faults".

Janine is like the best big sister ever.

Claudia got two parties after she passed the retake. 

Best character: 

Janine!!

Worst character:
Duh, obvi Shawna Riverson is a fucking bitch.

#39 - Poor Mallory

Timeline: 
In the last book, it was Halloween. Now it's warm enough for Mallory to be at the pool everytime she babysits Amanda and Max. Maybe it's just a really warm October?

Plot:
Mallory's dad gets laid off from his job. The family is all worried about money, so the six kids start coming up with ways to help with the family finances. The BSC gives Mallory all the jobs she can handle, including a ton at the Delaney's, who live in Kristy's neighborhood. They are super rich and snobby, and have a pool.

The problem at the Delaney's is that they always have a bunch of "friends" over to swim, but when Amanda and Max get sick of swimming and want to do other things, the "friends" are like "fuck this, I'm out" and they just leave, hurting the Delaney's feelings.

Meanwhile at the Pike's, Mal's dad starts off seriously job hunting, but then falls into a bit of a "I'm gonna stay in my pajamas, watch tv and drink all day" phase. Mallory starts to worry, but then Mrs. Pike comes home and lays the hammer down. The next day, Mr. Pike is elbow deep with a craft project with Clair. Then Mallory starts to worry even more, that maybe her dad wants to just stay at home and then the family will be poor forever.

Meanwhile, at the Delaney's, Mal and Amanda come up with a way to "test" the bitchy kids who are using Amanda for her pool. Amanda invited a bunch of kids over but says now they can't swim if a babysitter is in charge. The non-friends don't show up. Problem solved.

Also, Mr. Pike gets a job. Problem solved.

Takeaways:
I love when Mallory walks about her dad being at home, in his sweats, with a "glass of something." Um, Mal, it's whiskey.

I was laid off for almost 8 week back in 2008. I remember how annoyed I would get when everyone would ask me about the job hunt. Yes, I am still looking. I'm always looking. It's all I ever think about. Now gtfo.

I want a house with a pool SO BAD.

I love how all the Pike kids panic and try to make money. Mal baby-sits, of course. The triplets start a company and do odd jobs for people. Nicky makes does a paper route and makes more money than almost all of them. Claire and Margo do like a lemonade stand thing, and Vanessa styles girls' hair on the playground and calls herself Miss Vanessa.

Best character: 

Mrs. Pike because she has to hold everyone together when Mr. Pike goes off the rails. Also Mallory, because she was a really good big sister during this time. 

Worst character:
I mean, obviously Amanda and Max's bitchy friends who were using them for their pool.

#38 - Kristy's Mystery Admirer

Timeline: 
Halloween Hop time! (again) 2nd Halloween of their 6th grade/8th grade year.

Plot:
Kristy's Krushers beat the Bashers and it's absolutely the best thing in the world. Kristy also has a huge crush on Bart, the coach of the Bashers, and it seems like he has a crush on her too. He walks her home from that game and tells her he wants to see her soon, like before the next game. Kristy is swooning.

Then, Kristy starts receiving what can only be described as love notes - "I love you, I love you, I love you..." "You're as beautiful as a snow covered mountain"....things like that. Kristy takes all the notes to school to discuss them with her friends, and they all think they are from Bart, but Kristy isn't so sure. She asks Bart to be her date to the Halloween Hop, and they decide to have their softball teams play another game, but they make it a huge deal and call it a "World Series" even though it's only one game.

Then the notes start getting creepy...pretty much  threatening to kill Kristy. She even gets sent an envelope of fingernails, saying "that's the only thing that will be left of you". For some reason, now, Kristy decides they have to be from Bart and that he is a creep, or he's trying to psych her out for the World Series. She quits speaking to him and Shannon does too (Shannon and Bart go to the same private school).

Finally Bart is like WTF and he shows up at her house demanding to know why she's being mean to him. She confronts him about the notes. He admits to writing the gooey gooey ones, but not the creepy ones. So they call Shannon over and they try to figure out who is behind the creepy notes, but they've got no ideas.

The next day is the World Series, and the KRUSHERS win! Also, Cokie Mason (the girls' nemesis) is there and she accidentally quotes one of the notes, so Kristy is all "WTF" and Cokie is all "Well I hate you bitches". Cokie overheard the BSC talking about the notes during lunch and decided to pull a little prank. So that's that about the notes.

Bart and Kristy go to the Halloween Hop as lobsters and he gives her some lip on cheek action. She's in love. The end.

Takeaways:

I realize I say this all the time - but Gabbie Perkins is 2.5 years old and she's coordinated enough to play softball?! NOPE.

I do not understand why Kristy decides to just be weird to Bart instead of just telling him about these creepy notes she is getting and seeing how he reacts. Also, why doesn't she tell her freaking parents what is happening? The amount of things these girls try to keep from their parents is astounding to me. 

Shannon is in this book a lot, like way more than any other book so far. 

Best character: 
I think Bart is the best character of this book. He is super into Kristy, always offering to walk her home and dropping hints that he wants to see her more often. Then he writes her love notes. Then he just confronts her and is like seriously why the fuck are you ghosting me? Then he comes up with these amazing lobster costumes (aw, he's her lobster...) (pop culture crossover) for them to wear to the Halloween Hop.


Worst character:
Obviously the fucking bitch Cokie is the worst.

#37 - Dawn and the Older Boy

Timeline: 
No time line was mentioned, so I assume it's near Fall of their 2nd 8th grade/6th grade year.

Plot:

The girls are having a slumber party at Kristy's house and when they go downstairs in the morning there is some dude named Travis having out with Kristy's brothers. He is the most magnificent human being Dawn has ever seen, and she becomes obsessed with him. It seems like just a little 13 year old girl crush on a 16 year old, until Travis randomly shows up at her house with a barrette set for her. Then he shows up at the middle school and takes her on an afternoon shopping adventure, where he buys her earrings.

Then Kristy mentions in a club meeting that Travis is dating a lifeguard and Dawn loses her shit. She sneaks over to the high school and follows him and his lifeguard girlfriend. She sees them kissing and loses her goddamned mind. So then she follows them again and actually talks to them, where she gets insulted by the girlfriend (she refers to her as a "little girl") and Dawn leaves, feeling defeated and embarrassed. She goes home, talks to her friends about it and decides she needs to actually break up with him. So she calls him and does that, and he's all like "I think you're blowing this out of proportion" and she's like "Bye Felicia".

Sub plot is that James Hobart is writing a play for him and his neighbors, the Perkins girls. When some bully kid in town, Zach, finds out about it, he makes fun of James and keeps convincing him to ditch the girls. James bends to Zach's will, and everyone is disappointed that he is being such a pussy. Then MaryAnne realizes Dawn acted the same way towards Travis and writes some cryptic message to her in the club notebook.

Also, at the very end of the book Dawn becomes penpals with Logan's cousin, Lewis. They are flirty and planning on going on a date when Lewis comes to Stoneybrook.

Takeaways:

There is so so so so so much wrong with this book. 

First of all, a three year age difference is not that big of a deal when you are an adult. When you are 13 and 16, that is NOT OKAY.  Travis is a CREEP. WHY IN THE WORLD would a 16 year old want to hang out with a 13 year old?

Travis reminds me so much of this dude I was hanging around with in my early 20's. He was always telling me how cool he is, how talented he is, how everyone loves him. He told me how to dress and things I needed to change about myself. I was exactly like Dawn and did whatever I could to please him. I was so obsessed with him! Luckily, like Dawn, I broke it off with him in a mature fashion (JK - I let it go on for years, ended up sleeping with him, was broken hearted when he started dating someone else, rekindled it a few years later and THEN decided to take charge and end it for real). 

When Jessi is babysitting for the Hobarts and is first introduced to the play, Dawn says she had "the best afternoon of her life". That is not saying much for the rest of Jessi's life. 

Best character: 
I'm going to go with Richard Spier, because he loses his mind when he finds out his 13 year old stepdaughter is hanging out with a 16 year old hot rodder.


Worst character:
Duh. Travis, the biggest creep in the world. 

#36 - Jessi's Baby-sitter

Timeline: 
No time line was mentioned, so I assume it's near Fall of their 2nd 8th grade/6th grade year.

Plot:

Jessi's mom has decided to go back to work, and Aunt Cecilia's husband just died, so what a great time for Aunt Cecilia to come live with Jessi's family! Right? NOPE. Jessi and Becca don't like her because she's bossy and overbearing. So, before she even moves in, they pull some pranks - short sheet her bed, put shaving cream in her slippers, put fake spiders in her bed - they make a whole list of shit to do to her.

So she comes, and they were exactly right - bitch ain't cool. She tells the girls what to eat, how to dress, when to do to bed - she completely takes over as a parent, and a pretty terrible one at that. Jessi comes home late from a babysitting job, and Aunt Cecilia won't let her go to her BSC meeting. Jessi's parents seem to be completely absent and fine with Aunt C raising their children.

While all this is happening at home, the elementary school is having a science fair, and Jessi is helping Jackie Rodowsky. Well, helping isn't the right word - Jackie wants to make a working volcano, and Jessi just does it for him. And she does all the research and then gives him a speech to memorize. She doesn't even let him make his own sign for the table, she does it. Kristy also helps David Michael, Stacey helps Charlotte and Mallory helps Margo, but they are all normal about it and let the kids do the work.

Jackie loses at the fair when he can't tell anyone anything about his own project. Then Jessi realizes what she has done and how overbearing she was, and how she was acting just like Aunt Cecilia. So she begs her parents (who for some reason went to the fair) to go home so they can talk, and Jessi FINALLY tells them all the problems with the aunt. So then they call the Aunt in, they have a family conference and everything is fine. Aunt Cecilia tells about the pranks, but then tells the parents not to punish them. Then she pranks them back. Everyone magically loves each other. The end.

Takeaways:

Jessi's handwriting is so annoying.

This book makes no sense on so many levels. One, Jessi is not an overbearing asshole, Kristy is. It makes no sense that she would act that way with Jackie. And Jessi always talks about how close she is with her parents, yet she can't be like "hey, Aunt Cecilia is being an asshole, can you talk to her?"

There is one creepy part, when Aunt C goes into Jessi's room and tells her she needs to start wearing her hair differently. It was very Flowers in the Attic, when the grandma chops off the granddaughters hair. 

The Pike kids make an actual working library with all of their books. Fucking awesome. 

Best character: 
I would have to say Mallory. I think Mallory is my secret favorite sitter. Margo wants to be in the science fair and asks Mal to help her, and Mal is all "I'll help, but I'm not doing it" and Margo makes some ridiculous project involving Barbie dolls and the moon. But Mal is like, whatever, she's having fun and learning.

Worst character:
I mean, Jessi is an asshole thoughout this entire book. She is mean and bossy to Jackie. She doesn't even attempt to be mature about her aunt. And then at the end all of a sudden everything is fine? And she also does not look like an 11 year old on that book cover. 

#35 - Stacey and the Mystery of Stoneybrook

Timeline: 
Well the last book was summer time, but they are already back in school. There was no talk about the first day of school, so I guess they are just back in 8th grade again. That was a fast summer.

Plot:

There is an old house in Stoneybrook that is being torn down. Everyone thinks it's the biggest deal in the entire world, except Stacey who thinks everyone is lame for caring so much.

The club gets a call from the Johansen's, and they need someone to take Charlotte for an entire week when they go to help Charlotte's grandpa recover after surgery. Stacey takes the job (it was only offered to Stacey or Jessi, and Jessi is mysteriously gone for this entire book).

So Charlotte gets to Stacey and she's a giant baby about her parents leaving her (I mean, she's only 8, so I guess that's about right. She seems much older than 8, though. All the kids in these books seem much older than they really are. I mean, Gabbi Perkins is only 2.5 but she can memorize songs from musicals? Okay.) To distract her, Stacey takes her to the old house so they can look around it. They both get the creeps and see a bunch of weird shit - fire, faces, a swarm of flies. They both have nightmares that night. They become obsessed with the house, and get the rest of the club obsessed too. Kristy and Claudia do some research and discover the house (and most of that neighborhood) was built on a cemetery. Then they find the previous owner, who is now in the nursing home, and they go talk to him. He tells them all kinds of stories about how haunted the house is.

The day the house is officially being torn down finally arrives, and everyone from Stoneybrook goes to watch. While Stacey is standing there, she sees fire. For some reason, she just has to go back to the nursing home to talk to the guy. She literally just dumps Charlotte off with Claudia and sprints to the nursing home, only to find the guy has died. He left her a letter, though, telling her everything he said was bullshit and the house isn't haunted at all.

Charlotte goes back home, and they never speak of the house again. The end.

Takeaways:

This book was SO WEIRD. At the end, all of the weird things were explained - the "fire" they saw was a guy using a blow torch, the faces were said guy, the "flies" were actually bees.

Kristy, Charlotte, Claudia and Stacey all go to the nursing home to talk to the guy. But when Stacey goes back, the letter is only addressed to her. Why did she get the letter?

Charlotte stays with Stacey for a week, and she gets sick. Stacey plays a ton of games with her, including teaching her how to play War (worst card game ever, there were so many other games she should have taught her) and the board game Clue. Two people playing Clue? That would suck. I don't even know if it's possible?

Claudia goes to the library and gets the name of the guy who used to live in the house. She then asks her mom "how can i find out if someone who used to live in Stoneybrook still does live here?" and her mom was like um the phone book? Duh, Claudia.

The girls call an EMERGENCY meeting to discuss the house. WTF. A weird haunted house that none of them can do anything about is important enough to cause for an EMERGENCY meeting to be called?

Best character: 
I honestly don't know. This book is weird. None of the other babysitters are really in it except Kristy and Claudia. Like MaryAnne is pretty non-existent, I guess because she is scared of everything anyway. And Jessi is literally out of town for the whole book.

So I guess best character would be....the old guy who used to live in the house. He completely lies to the girls, then dies, but leaves a note saying JK. That's hilarious.

Worst character:
Again, I don't really know. I guess Stacey was kind of a snot about the house, and then she was the one who got the most obsessed with it.  I guess Jessi is the worst because she's not even around for anything?

#34 - Mary Anne and Too Many Boys

Timeline: 
Finally SUMMER! So this is the summer between after 8th grade for the older girls, after 6th grade for the younger girls.

Plot:

It's finally summer, after the longest spring ever. Mary Anne and Stacey have been asked to be mothers-helpers for the Pike family again. Mallory is a baby-sitter now too, so she's like a back up, but her parents mostly want her to just have a good vacation so they still bring along both girls to work.

Everything is going swimmingly (ha!) until Alex and Toby, the cute boys from last summer, show up. They are mothers helpers again too, so they immediately set up dates with the girls. Mary Anne is a bit hesitant, since she has Logan at home, but Stacey pretty much throws herself at Alex.

The Pikes tell the girls they can have one night off per week, but ask them not to take them together. Neither of them check with each other, and they set up dates with the boys for the same night. Mary Anne cancels her date and agrees to go out with Alex the next night instead. But then the next night, Stacey starts getting ready for another date! She thinks Mary Anne won't mind, but MA actually stands up for herself and tells Stacey to get bent.

Vanessa falls in love with this older guy who works at the ice cream stand and starts sending him secret admirer love poems. But the guy thinks Mallory is the one sending them, so he asks Vanessa to ask Mallory out for him. Vanessa actually handles it okay, and writes him a final poem, acting as Mallory, turning him down gently. It was way, way too mature for a nine year old.

The next week, Stacey goes out with Alex again and he dumps her - even though they have only been "together" for a week? He tells her he's not interested in doing anything serious with her, and she loses her mind. Mary Anne goes out with Alex again, and tells him about Logan, and then Alex tells her about his girlfriend. So MA decides that Alex is a great friend, but Logan is her boo.

Takeaways:

MaryAnne essentially cheats on Logan, but just trusts none of the Pikes or Stacey to say anything to him about it. Hmm.

Stacey is a total bitch when Alex "dumps" her. She screams at Mary Anne about using her towel (which she wasn't) and makes fun of her. Give me a break, Stacey. You barely know this guy who just dumped you, and if you were that awesome he would have at least tried to stay friendly with you across the miles.

Sea City seriously sounds like the best place on earth, and their house sounds amazing. I wish I could go there for real.

They did some weird side stories about the other girls baby-sitting in Stoneybrook and it took all of my energy not to skip those chapters. Who the fuck cares about babysitting jobs in Stoneybrook when you are in Sea City?!

Best character: 
Vanessa, due to her maturity of handling her first heart break.

Worst character:
Stacey. COME ON.

#33 - Claudia and the Great Search

Timeline: 
Still the end of the school year, 8th grade for the big girls, 6th grade for the little girls. The book opens with an award ceremony for Janine, so I assume that's an "end of the school year" type thing.

Plot:

Janine gets an award for being the smartest person to ever walk the halls of Stoneybrook High, so Claudia is jealous and bitter. She can't believe how different she is from everyone in her family. She looks for baby pictures so she can see if her and Janine looked alike when they were babies and can't find any of herself. So she decides she's adopted and launches a full investigation.

The sub plot is that Emily Brewer (Kristy's adopted sister) isn't progressing as quickly as everyone thinks she should, so one afternoon when Claudia is baby-sitting she starts working with her on colors and matching. Mrs. Brewer is very impressed and hires Claudia to tutor Emily.

After all of Claudia's investigating - she goes to the bank to try to get her birth certificate (can't, she didn't have a key to their lock box), she checks in with her old pediatrician (who wasn't her doctor from birth), she looks in old newspapers for birth announcements (she can't find hers, so she calls the other parents who had babies that week to see if maybe they were her real parents and had put her up for adoption). None of the searching is that smart. In the end, she finally just asks her parents and they tell her she wasn't adopted. The end.

Also, she tutors Emily so well that Emily passes the preschool entrance exam. The end. 

Takeaways:
At the beginning of the book, Claudia is talking about her science class and how they have to do "experiments". But the teacher has been doing the same "experiments" with his classes for years. So at that point, are they still "experiments" if you know what is going to happen? I don't know why, but I loved this line of thought. Claudia is so much smarter than she lets on.

WHY doesn't Claudia just ask her parents right off the bat if she is adopted? She seems to have a pretty good relationship with them, but she is absolutely convinced they would just lie to her.

This book is where I learned that second (or third, or fourth, or tenth) children don't have as many baby pictures taken of them because they aren't the first born.

Best character: 
Stacey wins. Claudia confides all of this adopted nonsense to her, and not only does she not tell anyone, but she is the one who finally convinces Claudia to just talk to her parents.

Worst character:
Janine's science teacher says something to Claudia like "I can't believe your sisters" about her and Janine. It was just kind of rude, because Janine dresses like a 70 year old librarian and Claudia dresses like a four year old who is given free reign of a department store.

Really there were no bad characters in this book, so that is a stretch.  

#32 - Kristy and the Secret of Susan

Timeline: 
Still end of their 8th grade year. I am sure Ann M. Martin just assumed that at this point, everyone would forget where they were at in the school year, but I'm tracking your ass, Ann.

Plot: 
The BSC gets a new client, the Felder's. They have one daughter, Susan, who is autistic. She normally is away at a special school, but she is home for a few weeks and Mrs. Felder knows she is going to need a break from her, so she hires Kristy to come three days a week and sit with Susan for a few hours.

Kristy meets the family and is immediately judgmental, thinking they are terrible for sending Susan away. She decides to spend her weeks with them "fixing" Susan, having her make friends, and showing the Felder's the don't need to send her away anymore. There is a new family in town, the Hobart's, from Australia, and Kristy seems especially obsessed about making them friends with Susan. One of them, James, does kind of take a liking to her and protects her from people making fun of her. And there are plenty of them...

So the Hobart's are Australian, so people make fun of their accents. Susan is autistic, and not only do those same people make fun of her, they then pretend to be her friend so they can charge people to watch the "retard". Susan has a few amazing qualities - she is an expert piano player and very good singer, and also she has a calendar in her head where she can name the day of the week any date falls on, past or future. So these bully kids charge other kids to see Susan's amazing talents - like she's in the circus or something.

Okay, so despite all of that, Kristy's plan doesn't work and she realizes the Felder's are right for sending Susan away. Then she learns they are going to have another baby, and she is downright ecstatic.

Oh, and Mallory starts dating the oldest Australian boy, Ben. 

Takeaways:

I am just weirded out by this whole book. First of all, I hated it as a kid. I don't know why. 

Second of all, there is no "secret" of Susan. Everything about her is very laid out, very clear. At no point is there a secret about her, except maybe that she is going to be a big sister, which isn't revealed until the end of the book. 

Third of all, Susan is only home for a month. Why does her mom need a break from her? Can't she just wait until her husband gets home from work? And why does her mom not work, when they don't have any kids at home most of them time?

Kristy was so Kristy in this book - thinking she was right about Susan and the Felder's did not need to send Susan away. Thank God she realized how wrong she was. 

The word "retard" was used an uncomfortable amount of times in this book. 

Best character: 
I honestly don't know. I guess I will go with Mr. Felder, who doesn't make an appearance until the end of the book, but he just sounded like a fun dude who was pretty cute. But no one else really did anything worth awarding in this book.

Worst character:
There were two kids who were charging people to see Susan perform. Not cool, bratty Stoneybrook kids. You are the worst.

#31 - Dawn's Wicked Stepsister

Timeline: 

AGAIN - No timeline. So it has to still be the end of May, their 8th grade year. Seriously, give us a timeline here ANN.

Plot:
Continuing from the last book, Dawn's mom and MaryAnne's dad literally just got married and the book starts exactly where the last one left off, with the bouquet toss. MaryAnne catches it, which just starts everything off on the wrong foot. I'm not sure why either of them felt like they should be the one to catch it, since they are 13, but each girl felt it was owed to them.

The families merge, and it is just a disaster, for real. The girls are bitchy with each other, but for some reason they still think it's a great idea to share a room. So they shove all their shit into one room, even though MaryAnne's dresser has to be in another room because it just won't fit. They fight and battle it out, and they are just SO rude to each other.

They have a family cleaning day, and Dawn is just a bitch - she switches Richard's organized sock drawer around, just to be a bitch. Everything comes to a head when the girls are doing homework in their room and fight over music being played. Richard sides with Dawn and Sharon sides with MaryAnne, and then MaryAnne stomps off to the guest room.

Dawn then decides to go really low, and she calls her brother Jeff for advice on how to trick MaryAnne into leaving her room without having to actually talk to her about it. They plot this seriously terrible idea to scare the shit out of her with the secret passage. It works, and MaryAnne moves into the spare room. Then the family has a coming to Jesus meeting and everyone agrees to work on getting along better.

Sub plot was that the entire Pike family gets sick or injured. 

Takeaways:
Dawn is TERRIBLE in this book. I don't like her at all, officially. Couldn't she have just been like "look - we know this isn't working, one of us should move to the spare room. But I want to stay in here because I love the secret passage, do you mind?" and MaryAnne would have said that's fine, and everything would have been fine.

MaryAnne is also very un-MaryAnne in this book, which makes me feel like Dawn was lying about it. Like MaryAnne calls Dawn fat and then makes fun of her for not having a boyfriend. It is just very uncharacteristic.

Richard makes Sharon bacon every single morning, even though she doesn't eat meat. Richard, why are you wasting that delicious bacon?

Mallory gets the chicken pox, and I know that is terrible and itchy, but she is so pouty/whiny and annoying.

Best character: 
When Dawn wants advice on MaryAnne, she goes to Kristy. And even though Kristy is jealous and hurt, she talks to her for quite awhile. Kristy wins this week.

Worst character:
Do I really need to say it? Fucking Dawn! 

#30 - MaryAnne and the Great Romance

Timeline: 

No timeline. So it has to still be the end of May, their 8th grade year.

Plot:
MaryAnne's dad and Dawn's mom have been on like 25 dates, so they decide to get married. They clearly had already planned on it, but then Mr. Spier decides to surprise Mrs. Schafer on her birthday with a fancy dinner and engagement ring. MaryAnne and Dawn then plan a huge ass wedding in their heads, but they are shot down with their parents tell them they want a quiet, lowkey event, very soon.

It is decided that MaryAnne and her dad will move in with the Schafer's and when MaryAnne finds out she loses her goddamned mind. But then she gets over it. Her and Dawn decide to share a room.

The wedding is a little event, and then they go out to lunch. At that point MaryAnne starts worrying about her new life, then Mrs. Schafer throws the bouquet, and it's headed right towards MaryAnne and Dawn and.....to be continued.

Takeaways:
At the wedding lunch, Mr. Spier tries to feed Mrs. Spier veal. After 25 dates and now a marriage, he doesn't know she's a vegetarian? He acts all butt hurt when she doesn't accept it.

MaryAnne cries through the entire fucking wedding. Seriously. I know it's emotional, but get your life together. She completely messed up all of her makeup that Claudia wasted time doing for her.

The subplot in this book is that the Arnold twins hate each other because they have to share a room. MaryAnne sees that, and suggest that maybe a little distance will help. But does she take her own advice? Nope.

Best character: 
Probably Mr. Spier, because he plans a pretty nice proposal and then he gives MaryAnne a necklace he was saving for her 18th birthday that was her mother's.

Worst character:
Probably Mr. Spier, for trying to feed a vegetarian meat.

#29 - Mallory and the Mystery Diary

Timeline: 

No timeline. No holidays, no weather. Still towards the end of their 8th grade/6th grade year. 

Plot:
Stacey and her mom moved into an old house behind Mallory's in the last book, so they are moving and throwing things out. Mallory goes over to help and they find this dusty old trunk in the attic. It is locked, but Mallory loves it and Mrs. McGill says she can have it. Mallory stares at it for awhile and then has the triplets bust it open. In it, there is a diary from a girl who lived in the 1800's. Her mother dies, and a portrait of her goes missing. Her father gets the blame, and Sophie desperately wants to clear her father's name.

Mallory is also tutoring Buddy Barrett because he can't read. Stacey also tells Charlotte about the mystery, and between Charlotte and Buddy they solve the mystery. The painting was painted over because Sophie's father couldn't bear to look at his dead daughter. But then he doesn't want to admit he was sad, so he blamed Sophie's dad for the painting being missing. 

Takeaways:
Mallory is such a nerd in this book. She says she "races" home from school so she can look at her trunk. Look at it. This was before she had the triplets open it. I loved Mallory books as a kid, but I don't remember her being this nerdy.

Mallory starts to tutor Buddy, and she comes up with all these creative ways to teach him to read better. However, when they first get started, she wonders if Buddy might develop a crush on her. It was just such an out of place sentence, and Buddy never gives her any reason to think he has a crush on her.

When the mystery gets going, Mallory wants to hold a seance to reach Sophie's spirit. Kristy totally takes over and insists on running it, and then dresses like a...something (I don't think you're supposed to say gypsy anymore, but that's what she dressed as), and completely ruins the whole thing. No one seemed to care, but I would have been kinda pissed. 

Best character:
Buddy Barrett - he literally solves the mystery.

Worst character:
Kristy for ruining the seance.

#28 - Welcome Back, Stacey!

Timeline: 

Again, doesn't say, so we can assume spring of their 8th grade year. They are still in school and when Stacey moves back to Stoneybrook, she jumps back into 8th grade again. So she was gone less than a school year. 

Plot:
Stacey's parents are battling it out lately, and finally decide to get a divorce. This means that Stacey needs to decide which parent she is going to live with - her dad is going to stay in New York, and her mom is trying to decide where to live - if Stacey wants to live with her, she is going back to Stoneybrook. If not, she will pick some other small town somewhere else.

Stacey hems and haws and writes pro/con list, and then finally decides on Stoneybrook. Obviously.

That's really all that happens in this book. 

Takeaways:
Stacey's dad "sleeps in his office" often. Nope. He "sleeps at his girlfriends".

I did really feel for Stacey during this book. That's a really tough position for a 13 year old to be in. But I was really happy she chose Stoneybrook - her reasons for going back were far less snobby than her reasons for staying in New York. Plus, I kind of got the feeling that her dad would be fine without her, and her mom really needed her. 

Best character:
Even though Laine turns into a huge B later in the series (spoiler alert), she was the best in this book. Stacey cannot make up her mind, and Laine never really pressures her to stay. And on the day the McGill's are all moving, she comes and brings them breakfast, and then just stays throughout the entire day to see them off. Very touching. 

Worst character:
I don't think there really is a worst character in this book - maybe the McGill's, for getting divorced in the first place?

#27 Jessi and the Superbrat

Timeline: 

Doesn't really say, but school is still in session so we're going to say the end of 6th grade for Jessi and Mal, end of 8th grade for everyone else. 

Plot:

Everyone in Stoneybrook is obsessed with this show on television, PS 162. (I think that's what it's called.) it's a good show, but also one of the main characters is a kid from Stoneybrook, Derek Masters. The Masters family is coming back to town for awhile, and they of course need a babysitter so Jessi takes the job. Derek is nervous about starting school again, and tells Jessi all about this terribly mean boy named John. Jessi works hard at making friends for Derek and it works, pretty soon he has a ton of friends and all is well. He stops talking about John. 

Jessi is also auditioning for a production of Swan Lake. She has to do three try outs, and she starts doubting herself. She tells Derek, and he convinces her that she would be a better model and actress anyway, so forget about ballet. She takes his advice, until she finds out she made it. Then ballet is her first love and all is well again. 

Derek gets a role in a movie, so the family has to move back to California. Jessi and the girls throw him a goodbye party, and Jessi tries to invite John but can't figure out who he is. She asks Derek, who admits he made John up and he was actually being the jerky superbrat. 

Takeaways:
Jessi gets nervous about ballet and thinks she won't get a part in Swan Lake, so she immediately says she doesn't like ballet anyway and wants to be a model. I do that same thing - when I think I'm not going to succeed at something, I claim I wasn't really interested anyway. I am sure a lot of people do this.

There is something kind of creepy about how Jessi keeps saying Derek is her friend. He's like 8 years old. But she is ready to, like, give up her life and move to California with him. 

Best character:
The other baby-sitters really weren't in this book at all. It was very Jessi centered. But I will say the best character is Karen Brewer. Kristy is baby-sitting her, and Karen begs her to meet Derek Masters bc Karen thinks Derek can get her into movies. Kristy refuses, so Karen makes up an entire play about how terrible Kristy is for silencing her talent.

Worst character:
There really isn't a worse character. Jessi gets kind of annoying when she thinks she needs to be a model, but she gets over it relatively quickly. Derek is a brat, but he's 8 and a television star, so that is to be expected. There are some really catty ballerinas trying out for Swan Lake with Jessi, but they don't get parts, so they get their karma. 

 

 

#26 Claudia and the Sad Goodbye

Timeline: 
No real time line mention - I'm assuming end of spring still. They are still in school because Claudia misses a ton of it because of her sad goodbye.

Plot: 
I legit fucking cried through this entire book. I don't even remember really crying as a kid while reading this book.

Claudia's grandma, Mimi, hasn't been doing well since her stroke and things keep getting worse. She has a weird fainting episode at the dinner table one night, so they take her to the ER and she gets admitted. They can't find anything wrong with her, so they send her home. She faints again, goes back to the hospital and dies.

UGHHH.

Also, Claudia and MaryAnne are teaching an art class for neighborhood kids. One of the kids, Cori, gets super attached to Claudia because her parents are always ditching her and they suck. Claudia stands up to her mom and tells her to get her shit together. So she does, and Cori's life is a lot better because of Claudia.

Takeaways:
UGHHH. I seriously could not stop crying through this entire book. I was a mess. I kept thinking about how sad I will be when my grandparents die.

One thing that kind of annoys me about these books is how mature everyone acts. Like - Gabby Perkins is only 2.5, but somehow she can sing, tap dance and take an art class? That is not that much older than my niece Quinn, and there is no way Quinn could just be taking an art class like an adult. Also, Jamie Newton is 4, same age as my nephew, Alex. Jamie is taking the art class and speaks like a grown ass man. I cannot.

Again, I can't emphasize enough how much I cried reading this book.

Also, it mentions how Stacey's parents fight and her dad stays in New York instead of coming to the funeral.

Best character:
Ugh, I don't know.

Actually, it's Janine. When Mimi dies, they just shut her bedroom door and pretend it's not there. But Janine is the one who opens it and kind of forces the family to deal with it, and good thing they did since Mimi had left things for them all in her room. Including an obituary where she listed the DATE AND YEAR OF HER OWN DEATH. Because she knew that.

Worst character:
Mimi, for dying, and destroying my day.

#25 MaryAnne and the Search for Tigger

Timeline: 
No real timeline is mentioned, so we will assume this is like mid-end of May, since the last book was on Mother's Day

Plot: 
MaryAnne is like, scarily obsessed with her cat and for some reason all the neighborhood kids are too. Logan doesn't really get it. He thinks that cat is fine, but gets annoyed when MaryAnne wants to sit outside with all the neighborhood kids and watch the damn cat play. Logan is pretty irritable with MaryAnne through the whole book, actually.

For some reason, though, when MaryAnne has to go across the street to Claudia's, she leaves Tigger outside. Even though she mentions a lot throughout the book how overprotective she is of her cat. So of course, when she comes back, Tigger is missing.

The entire rest of the book involves them looking for Tigger. The piece together $30 as a reward and hang up posters. They get a lead, they think, but it's just some kid messing with them. They pull off an elaborate prank on the kid who is fucking with them, but it still ends up with the same dreary, sad conclusion - Tigger is missing. Because Mary left him outside.

Then one afternoon MaryAnne is babysitting for Logan's brother and sister, and she finds Tigger in Logan's sister's closet. Ends up she found Tigger on the side of the road (MaryAnne's fault) and took him home to prove to her parents she is responsible enough to have a pet, and that it wouldn't affect Hunter, her brother's allergies. She was wrong on all accounts. So was MaryAnne, for leaving her fucking cat outside in the first place.

Oh, and MaryAnne is convinced Logan knew where Tigger was the whole time, and that's why he's been so moody. But really he didn't know, he's just mad about baseball. So they make up.

Takeaways:
This book was seriously so boring. All they do is look for a damn cat the whole book.

I cannot get over the fact that MaryAnne just left this stupid cat outside. If I let my cats outside, they would be fucking gone. #maybeishouldletmycatsout

Logan being all upset about baseball totally reminded me of my high school boyfriend. If he had a bad game, it was better to just avoid him for a few days.


Best character:
The entire baby-sitters club, except for MaryAnne. They all donate money to the reward fund, help MA hang posters, help her search endlessly, and then help her take posters down after Tigger is found.

Worst character:
MaryAnne, why did you leave your FUCKING CAT OUTSIDE?!

#24 - Kristy and the Mother's Day Surprise

Timeline: 
End of April, early May. As the title suggests, the book ends on Mother's Day. So towards the end of the majority of the girls' 8th grade year.

Plot: 
Kristy wants to do something really big for Mother's Day, it isn't really explained why this year is bigger and more important than previous years. She comes up with this plan to not only give her mom a day off, but all the moms in Stoneybrook. She gets the girls to work with her, and the Baby-Sitters Club had a "Mom's Day Off" event where they take all the kids to a carnival, the park, and then back to Claudia's house for stories and crafts.

Side note - MaryAnne is being weird about Mother's Day during the entire book, because her mom is dead. But by the end of the book, she decides to give her dad a mother's day gift.

Also, Kristy's mom is being all weird, asking the kids if they would like another sibling and getting all weepy when the whole family is together. When everyone returns home after the Mother's Day outing, she and Watson announce that they have adopted a little girl, Emily Michelle, from Vietnam, and she will be arriving the next day.

Takeaways:
I remember thinking this book was so boring as a kid. I don't know why. I thought it was fantastic as an adult.

I legit had to fight back tears at the end of this book when they brought Emily Michelle home.

Nothing else really happened in this book. Their outing goes well, the kids are ridic.

There was this weird part at the end where Dawn is singing the wrong lyrics and then one of Kristy's brothers yell at her what the correct lyrics are. It must have been an inside joke between Ann. M. Martin and someone.

Oh, and Stacey comes back to help out and she talks about how much all the kids have grown. She's been gone less than a year. She left at the beginning of 8th grade, and now it's the end of 8th grade.

Best character:
I love Kristy in this book.

Worst character:
That little bitch Jenny Prezziodioasdioo comes to the mother's day thing, and she hates that Matt Braddock is there. Because Matt is deaf. Seriously Jenny. You little bitch.

#23 Dawn on the Coast

Timeline: Alright folks, this is where the timeline jumps off the fucking cliff and just starts swimming around, doing whatever the fuck it wants. Somehow, we have skipped winter time and all the holidays and we have landed at spring break of the girls 8th grade and 6th grade years.

Plot: The girls have two weeks off for spring break (TWO WEEKS?) and Dawn heads to California to spend time with her Dad and Jeff. Of course, she falls back in love with California and decides she might want to move back there. I mean, California has everything she wants: sunshine, her dad and Jeff, good food, and a copycat Baby-sitters Club (her friend Sunny has created a subpar version of her own BSC, called the We Love Kids Club). Dawn gets seriously annoying about this, and already tells Sunny that she may want to move back, and talks to her Dad and Jeff about it, so Jeff gets all excited. But then something happens, and all of a sudden she knows she has to go back to Stoneybrook. Oh I don't know, Dawn, like maybe the fact that you promised your mom you would come back? So Dawn goes back to Stoneybrook and tells her mom she was thinking the whole time she may want to stay there, but she didn't. The end.

Takeaways:
Even though they just dealt with Kristy being bossy in the last book, she seems to still have a problem with it in this book. Well, and every book until the end (I assume, I've never read the last books).

Dawn flips her shit because at the We Love Kids Club they serve apple slices instead of candy. Like, that's seriously one of her reasons for wanting to move back there.

Also, she loves how casual the meetings are, like they don't have offices or anything. Even though in the last book she was fighting to the death because she wanted a new office.

While she is in California, her friends send her post cards about their sitting jobs. Why? That's so lame. Plus, that means they wrote about their jobs in the club notebook, then turned around and wrote them again on a postcard.

I'm sorry, but one more time...who gets two weeks off for spring break in middle school?

Best character:
I think this week the winner is Mrs. Bruen, the housekeeper. Her breakfasts sound LEGIT.

Worst character:
You think I'm going to say Dawn because she gets all California obsessed and almost leaves her poor lonely mother alone is Stoneybrook...and you are right.