#14 - Hello, Mallory!

Timeline:
Again, nothing said about the date. However, the kids are still playing outside and no holidays are mentioned, so we'll assume it's still October-ish.

Plot:
The Baby-sitters Club need a new babysitter since Stacey left in the last book. They ask Mallory Pike, who normally the babysit for, but lately she has been stepping up as a "co-sitter". Mallory is totally pumped, and gets all dressed up for her first meeting. The older girls are a bit iffy about her, so they tell her she can join if she passes two tests - an "on the job" babysitting test with Claudia at the Perkins's, and a written/oral test given by the club members. Mallory bombs both. But in her defense, Claudia was a douche at the Perkins's, and the written test was like the NCLEX exam for nurses. Mallory stomps out after "quitting" before she was accepted into the club.

In the meantime, there is a new girl in 6th grade named Jessica Ramsay, and Mallory kinda stalks her a bit until they become best friends. They decide, since the older BSC members are dicks, to start up their own baby-sitting business, a club called Kids Incorporated. They literally copy every single thing the original club does, down to the club meeting times. They only get two jobs (for their own families) but for some reason the BSC panics and asks them to join the club again. This time everyone is nicer, and the girls get to join.

Takeaways:
Okay. When Mallory and Jessi start their own club, their first job is for Mallory's family. Dawn sees them outside babysitting, and all the club members lose their goddamned minds because the Pikes are such good customers and now they are losing them to Kids Incorporated. What the FUCK did they think was going to happen? They treat their daughter like complete shit, won't let her join their stupid little club, and the Pikes were going to still be okay with them? DUMB.

I still cannot get over how mean the girls were to Mallory, when they needed her to join the club. They are far too busy. They extended the invite. So why be assholes?

One more thing. Mallory and Jessi are only 11 years old. That is SO YOUNG to be babysitting! My nephew Gavin will be 11 in September and I literally would not trust that kid to babysit a goldfish. I feel like everyone in the BSC universe is way more mature than they really should be. Like this little Gabbie Perkins chick is two years old and she calls everyone by their first and last name. NOPE. A two year old would get all the babysitters confused, she wouldn't know their first and last names, for christs sake.

Oh, and another thing - Jessi and her family are black, and I guess Stoneybrook is stuck in the 1950's because everyone hates them and crack racist jokes.

Best character:
I'm going to have to give Mallory this one. She stands up to the girls when the tests are unfair, and she just says to hell with them and starts her own club. And also, she was whining in the beginning of the book because she wants a best friend, so she jumps at the first opportunity to get one that she sees.

Worst character: The entire BSC are a bunch of assholes, but I'm going to give Claudia the worst character award this week. When they are testing Mallory, they ask her to draw the human digestive system, which Claudia continues to call "divestive" system, even after being corrected. Come on, Claudia. You have to try to be this stupid.

#13 - Goodbye, Stacey, Goodbye!

Timeline:
Again, no specifics were mentioned. No dances coming up, no holidays mentioned. So I guess we have to assume this is still October-ish of their 8th grade year.

Plot:
Well, clearly from the title, Stacey is out. Her dad's office is closing, and he's being transferred back to New York.
So...basically the book goes like this: Stacey's parents tell her they are moving in like a month. Stacey is happy about it, then sad, then happy, then sad. Back and forth, forth and back, until the end when they finally leave.
Oh, and McGill's have collected a ton of shit, and they have to get rid of it all because it won't fit in their new apartment. So they let the BSC members have a garage sale, and then, for some absolutely ridiculous reason, they let the girls split ALL THE MONEY. So then the girls use that money to throw Stacey a goodbye party with all the kids they babysit for.
Oh, and at the very end Stacey tells the club members that she is officially the "New York" branch of the BSC. And the girls talk about how Mallory would maybe be a good addition to the club.

Takeaways:
Dude - why did the McGill's let the girls keep ALL the money? It makes no sense. I can see some of it, but ALL OF IT? Also, I'm sorry, I know Stacey was all like "my goodbye party was amazing", but seriously? A goodbye party with a bunch of kids? Why not throw a cool goodbye party with all their friends? (Oh, wait...they don't have friends other than each other.)

Also, let's talk about this yard sale - it was a pretty massive event, what with all the McGill's shit that needed to be sold, plus Claudia made brownies, MaryAnne knitted a bunch of shit, and Dawn sold spider plants (whatever the hell they are) - but like, are the people of Stoneybrook stupid? One person asked to buy the shutters off the house. One person wanted to buy their car. One person asked to buy the folding tables. GIVE ME A BREAK.

I don't really have any other takeaways, because besides Stacey  flipping back and forth on if she was happy or sad, nothing really happened.

Best character:
Oh, one other thing happened. Kristy is babysitting her siblings and all the kids in her neighborhood are there, too, and Morbidda Destiny invites them all over for lemonade. Kristy makes them all go, and she is really nice to Morbidda and realizes she is just a lonely old woman. So Kristy wins this week.

Worst character:
No one really stands out in this book, so no one gets named worst this week. Yay!

#12 - Claudia and the New Girl

Timeline:
There really wasn't anything specifically said about the timeline in this book, so we will assume it's like September/October of their 8th grade year. Immediately following the previous book.

Plot:
There is a new girl in town - her name is Ashley Wyeth. She dresses weird, acts weird and snobby, and immediately grows a weird, unhealthy attachment to Claudia. She is a very talented artist, who studies at a very important school, and Claudia is in awe of her from the first second she lays eyes on her.

Ashley looks at some of Claud's art, and decides Claudia is the second most talented person she knows (behind herself, of course) and convinces her to give up basically everything else in her life - school, friends, babysitting - to devote herself to art. There is a sculpture show coming up, and Ashley tells Claudia she has to immerse herself into her project. So Claudia starts skipping club meetings to do this, and everyone loses their minds.

The girls continue to still meet in her room, even though Claudia gets to the point where she is skipping every club meeting. They take that opportunity to raid all her junk food and leave her mean notes. Immature, yes, but we need to remember that these jerks are all 13. Stacey cries a lot because she thinks Claudia likes Ashley more than her. Gone are the days when Stacey doesn't think she needs any of the BSC members because "don't forget where I'm from" (I will never forgive Stacey for saying that in book #4).

Anyway, Ashley catches Claudia babysitting at the Rodowsky's and loses her shit. Claudia finally stands up for herself and that's the end of that friendship. So then Claudia finally gets her shit together, makes up with all the girls, and that's that.

Oh, and she ends up wining an honorable mention for her sculpture, honorable mention only because it wasn't finished - it would have won if it was (her teacher told her that).

Takeaways:
Two things I remember from this book when I read it as a child:
    1. I remember Claudia talking about how Ashley's braid didn't have a tie at the end of it, it just naturally came to an end. When I was a kid (and, still, as an adult) I want my hair to do that so bad!
     2. At the end of the book, when Claudia gets her shit together, she makes all these lists to help herself get organized. She even makes a "list of lists I need to make" - for some reason I got a real kick out of that as a kid, but I've never been disorganized enough to have to make a list of lists.

Look, I totally get that Claudia was being a jerk and missing meetings, but I think the girls were super lame for leaving her notes everywhere. I would have secretly never forgiven my friends if they were in my space, going through my stuff and leaving rude notes. What would Mimi think of this behavior, girls?

But on the other hand, seriously Claudia? The BSC is literally a 90 minute commitment a week - are you seriously telling me you don't have time to squeeze that in?

Best character:
Jackie Rodowsky wins this week - he is a disaster and yet still the most cheerful, positive person in the world. Plus, in this book he admits to breaking two doorbells - how the hell do you even break a doorbell? That takes talent.

Worst character:
Dawn is the worst in this book. After the club makes up, she tells Claudia that she made up a mean song about her while they were fighting. Um. Dawn. That's something you could have just kept to yourself for your entire life.

#11 - Kristy and the Snobs

Timeline:
There's nothing specific that talks about the timeline in this book, but it is mentioned that Kristy has lived in her new neighborhood for a couple months - so I'm guessing September-ish of their 8th grade year.

Plot:
Kristy is struggling in her new neighborhood. Everyone is snobby-rich, while Kristy and her family are down-to-earth-rich. Kristy starts getting baby-sitting jobs, and that pisses Shannon Kilbourne off, as Kristy is honing in on her baby-sitting territory. The girls pull some pranks on each other, but then come to an understanding and become friends.
The heartbreaking, heart wrenching, heart destroying part of this book was that the Thomas's old dog, Louie, fucking dies. He dies. Throughout the book they talk of his rapid deterioration, and then he has to be put down. You guys...it is fucking terrible.
After that happens, Shannon Kilbourne offers Kristy's family a puppy (her dog had just had puppies) and then the girls ask her to become another associate member of the club.

Takeaways:
I do NOT remember crying when I read this book as a kid, but I am not fucking with you, I SOBBED today reading this book. When I was a kid, we had a German Shepherd named Duke. He was the best, most beautiful dog ever. He was so protective of us (he bit one of my boyfriends, and left a nice little scar), and he was just the most amazing pet I've ever had. When we had to put him down, I was in college and missed the whole thing. My parents didn't want to tell me, because it was my finals week, so I found out when I got home and asked where Duke was. I remember tears just instantly started streaming down my face with no warning. Maybe that's why I had such a strong reaction to this book today - it made me realize what Duke must have been going through. I'm so glad I missed all of that.

I liked this book a lot because everyone came around at the end. All the snobs became unsnobby. Even though Louie died, David Michael came around to the idea of a new puppy. Kristy came around to her new neighborhood. There were two particularly snobby kids in the neighborhood, Amanda and Max, who came around after an afternoon with Stacey where she kinda tricked them into being normal. And then at the end Shannon became friends with the whole club and joined.

Best character:
I am going to go with Watson. Kristy mentions when she is talking about the neighborhood that all of her neighbors have swimming pools and tennis courts and basketball courts, but Watson has none of that. I kinda dig that. He's just a normal dude who happens to have a good paying job. Also, he is so supportive during the whole Louie thing, when really he's barely even lived with this dog.

Worst character:
Maybe I am just overemotional because of Louie dying, but no one gets named the worst character this week. Nothing but love for them all. Except maybe Ann M. Martin, because she destroyed my day by killing off that damn dog.

#10 - Logan Likes MaryAnne!

Timeline:
8th grade just started. This is where this timeline is going to get interesting. The girls never leave 8th grade, and there are LITERALLY 120 more books in this series. MaryAnne turns 13 in this book, and she is the last one to hit teenage-hood.

Plot:
MaryAnne has changed. She's grown up, and she's kind of boy-crazy. After her wild 2 weeks in Sea City where she discovered boys aren't gross, she has moved on to continue her boy-crazy life. And lucky for her, Logan Bruno just moved to Stoneybrook and not only is he hot, but he likes her!

But the world is not perfect. The girls started advertising in Kristy's new neighborhood, and they are too busy. They are literally running out of baby-sitters. Logan overhears them discussing this at lunch, and he offers his services. He comes to a meeting and gets assigned to watch a new client, the Rodowsky's, with MaryAnne. The job goes pretty well, even though one of the kids, Jackie, is a walking disaster. He ends the afternoon by accidentally pushing MaryAnne into Logan's arms. Swoon.

The girls invite Logan to be in the club, but he declines. But he asks MaryAnne out! They start hanging out all the time, and they go to the Remember September dance together. Then Stacey has a party and MaryAnne invites Logan! But wait - there's a catch. It ends up being a SURPRISE party for MaryAnne and as soon as she figures that out, she loses her goddamned mind and runs out of the house.

MaryAnne cries....a lot....and then realizes she is being a giant jackass, and she calls all her friends and makes up with them. Logan goes with her to buy a kitten, Tigger - and then he asks her to the next school dance. SWOON.

Oh, and they make Logan an alternate officer of the club, meaning he will be called in an emergency when none of the other babysitters can take jobs.

Takeaways:
MaryAnne says the club makes "pretty much money". What the fuck. Learn English.

When Logan comes to the club meeting, it is super super awkward. Like Claudia almost says bra strap in front of a boy, Oh my God. I seriously am so glad I rarely have to deal with 13 year old girls.

When Logan and MaryAnne are babysitting Jackie, he gets his hand stuck in a jar. Logan uses margarine to get it out. I still remember that to this day. I think they used butter in an episode of Full House too, when one of the girls gets her head stuck in the banister rails.

Spoiler alert - in some books down the road, Logan and MaryAnne break up because Logan is too controlling. Which I can kind of see in this book. Like during the party, he basically tells MaryAnne she needs to be more outgoing and not so shy. Um, shut the fuck up Logan. She's done pretty well for 13 years before you entered her life.

Best character:
I'm going to go with MaryAnne's dad. His daughter turns 13, gets a boyfriend and wants a cat all in the same week. For someone who is supposedly so uptight, he really rolls with the punches.

Worst character:
I'm going to say MaryAnne, because of her extremely dramatic exit when she realizes the party is for her. I mean, I get she is shy, but it would have been less attention seeking to just blush, blow out the candles and open your goddamned presents. Running away definitely caused all of those people to talk behind your back for awhile, MaryAnne.


P.S. I've got to get some consistency with this blog. I am going to work hard on publishing a post every Monday. I didn't realize how much work it would be to read a book and basically write a book report on it. But I will get better in 2017. Promise.