Spring of their 3rd 8th grade year. It's time for the SMS Spring Dance!
Plot
Stacey's math teacher announces in class one day that a student teacher from the local community college will be coming in to teach for three weeks. Stacey is disappointed because she loves her math teacher and assumes the student teacher will be a huge lame ass. However, color her surprised when she walks in and a Tom Cruise lookalike is standing there! She instantly falls in love and starts being RIDICULOUS. She only wears dresses she thinks he will like (his name is Wes Ellenburg, by the way). She adds "jokes" to her homework so she doesn't seem like a nerd. Then Wes acts like a blind moron and not only asks Stacey to stay after school and help him get organized, but also he drives her to the BSC meeting.
After that Stacey completely goes off the deep end and writes him a LOVE POEM. Which she hand delivers and then waits for him to read in front of her. He is awkward and tries to just be like "yep, nice poem." He is kind of standoffish for a few days, but then he gets all excited when he finds out he's getting a good recommendation and tells Stacey and is all like "this is a big secret" so then she feels all important again and thinks there is a chance for them.
Sam Thomas asks her to the spring dance and she turns him down because she thinks she is going with Wes. At the dance, she asks Wes to dance and he says yes (?!?!?!?!!?!?) but then when the music changes to a slow song she is all "oh good, a slow song, let's rub up against each other" and that's when he is FINALLY like "Okay, Stacey, you are fucking 13 and I am 22. Not going to happen." So she is all heart broken.
While all of this is happening, Dawn and MaryAnne are goat sitting for their farmer neighbor. They make a welcome sign, make a goodbye sign, take it on babysitting jobs and cry when it leaves - did I mention this is a FUCKING GOAT?
The end of the book is just Claudia and Stacey, walking home from the goat goodbye party, being sad.
Takeaways
Stacey puts jokes in her math homework. What the fuck.
Wes is literally there for like three days when he is "so unorganized" and needs help. Nope.
I cannot handle the girls and this fucking goat. 1. The goat can't read your signs. 2. YOU CANNOT TAKE A FARM ANIMAL ON BABYSITTING JOBS!! I cannot believe they think it's okay to do this. 3. It's a fucking goat! Goats are gross.
There is so much wrong with Wes's schooling that it drives me actually crazy. Now, I may be sensitive to this because I work in higher ed. But several things...1. Wes is supposedly getting his masters in education. At a community college. Community colleges typically offer two-year associate degrees or certificate programs. 2. Wes would not be student teaching if he were earning a masters degree. He would have done that in his undergrad. 3 Now, at one point in the book it says Wes is recieving his masters degree, and then a bit later it says he is finishing up his Bachelors. Okay. Well, whichever degree it is student teaching it would have been for an entire semester, not for three weeks. 4. While student teaching, it's pretty rare that the actual teacher would just disappear.
Best Character
Dawn and MaryAnne's parents, for allowing a fucking goat to stay at their house.
Worst Character
That fucking disgusting, good for nothing, smelly ass goat.
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