#65 - Stacey's Big Crush

Timeline
Spring of their 3rd 8th grade year. It's time for the SMS Spring Dance!

Plot
Stacey's math teacher announces in class one day that a student teacher from the local community college will be coming in to teach for three weeks. Stacey is disappointed because she loves her math teacher and assumes the student teacher will be a huge lame ass. However, color her surprised when she walks in and a Tom Cruise lookalike is standing there! She instantly falls in love and starts being RIDICULOUS. She only wears dresses she thinks he will like (his name is Wes Ellenburg, by the way). She adds "jokes" to her homework so she doesn't seem like a nerd. Then Wes acts like a blind moron and not only asks Stacey to stay after school and help him get organized, but also he drives her to the BSC meeting.

After that Stacey completely goes off the deep end and writes him a LOVE POEM. Which she hand delivers and then waits for him to read in front of her. He is awkward and tries to just be like "yep, nice poem." He is kind of standoffish for a few days, but then he gets all excited when he finds out he's getting a good recommendation and tells Stacey and is all like "this is a big secret" so then she feels all important again and thinks there is a chance for them.

Sam Thomas asks her to the spring dance and she turns him down because she thinks she is going with Wes. At the dance, she asks Wes to dance and he says yes (?!?!?!?!!?!?) but then when the music changes to a slow song she is all "oh good, a slow song, let's rub up against each other" and that's when he is FINALLY like "Okay, Stacey, you are fucking 13 and I am 22. Not going to happen." So she is all heart broken.

While all of this is happening, Dawn and MaryAnne are goat sitting for their farmer neighbor. They make a welcome sign, make a goodbye sign, take it on babysitting jobs and cry when it leaves - did I mention this is a FUCKING GOAT?

The end of the book is just Claudia and Stacey, walking home from the goat goodbye party, being sad.

Takeaways
Stacey puts jokes in her math homework. What the fuck.

Wes is literally there for like three days when he is "so unorganized" and needs help. Nope.

I cannot handle the girls and this fucking goat. 1. The goat can't read your signs. 2. YOU CANNOT TAKE A FARM ANIMAL ON BABYSITTING JOBS!! I cannot believe they think it's okay to do this. 3. It's a fucking goat! Goats are gross.

There is so much wrong with Wes's schooling that it drives me actually crazy. Now, I may be sensitive to this because I work in higher ed. But several things...1. Wes is supposedly getting his masters in education. At a community college. Community colleges typically offer two-year associate degrees or certificate programs. 2. Wes would not be student teaching if he were earning a masters degree. He would have done that in his undergrad. 3 Now, at one point in the book it says Wes is recieving his masters degree, and then a bit later it says he is finishing up his Bachelors. Okay. Well, whichever degree it is student teaching it would have been for an entire semester, not for three weeks. 4. While student teaching, it's pretty rare that the actual teacher would just disappear.

Best Character
Dawn and MaryAnne's parents, for allowing a fucking goat to stay at their house.

Worst Character
That fucking disgusting, good for nothing, smelly ass goat.

#64 - Dawn's Family Feud

Timeline
I'm assuming it's still spring of their 3rd 8th grade year. They get a random four day weekend - maybe spring break?

Plot
Dawn's brother Jeff comes home for a visit, and the family has exactly one good day together before everything falls to shit. There are three days where the girls still have school, the mom has to work and so Richard takes the days off to hang out with Jeff. Richard (a grown male) and Jeff (a 10 year old spoiled child) have nothing in common, so they struggle. Then the family goes on a four day trip to Boston, and it's terrible. It's like they are taking two separate trips, because Dawn and Jeff basically refuse to hang out with MaryAnne and her dad. For some reason the parents go along with it, until they are like "no, fuck this, we are a family and we are doing things together today." So on the last day of vacation, they finally spend the day together.

Then they get home, and it's Jeff's last day in Stoneybrook (after he threw a fit and tried to demand to be sent back to California, to which his mom said no). The parents have hired a photographer to come over and take family pictures, and everyone is a dick about it. Finally the photographer shows them the terrible pictures where it is obvious everyone hates each other, and then everyone laughs and they make up.

The side story is that Mrs. Barrett (whose first name is Natalie, which I believe we just found out) is dating a new guy named Franklin DeWitt and they try to combine the families - the three Barrett kids and the four DeWitt kids. It doesn't go well until Shannon and Claudia babysit them all and make them realize how much more fun they can have if they just get along and play together.

Takeaways
Dawn is on a four day "vacation" and writes like 20 postcards to her friends - like multiple postcards to the same person. And they are all bitching about MA and Richard. Like 1. why do you need to write postcards when you will literally see the people within days and 2. why would you write to your mutual friends and bitch about MA? and 3. Why would she write to Kristy, of all people, and bitch about MaryAnne? Kristy is always going to side with MA, and she doesn't really like Dawn anyway.

Jeff is the worst in this book. He gets super pissed at his friends (the Pike triplets) because they play baseball and not soccer (soccer is so cool in California), he is rude to Richard, and he is awful to MA. Then when they are literally walking to the car to go to Boston, he decides he would rather go to Washington DC, and he is all "we have to go to Washington DC". He is a spoiled jerk.

In Boston, they basically separate and have two different vacations. What I don't understand is WHY did the parents deal with that? Why weren't they like no, we are going this, no questions asked. I can't imagine being on vacation as a kid and being like "nah, I don't feel like doing that" and my parents being like "Well, one of us better stay with her." My parents would have been like "don't care, come on." Like in this book, they are deciding where to go for dinner and they pick a place and then Jeff is like "nah, I don't feel like it, I just want room service" and his mom is like "well, I guess I'll take him back to the hotel". So stupid. He's fucking ten. You make him do things.

The Barrett's and DeWitt's plan a big family outing, and Mrs. Barrett HIRES A BABYSITTER to come along. Why?! You can't handle your own family, you need a babysitter to come while you are going to be there? So weird.

Best Character
Probably Shannon and Claudia, for figuring out how to make the DeWitt/Barrett kids get along.

Worst Character
The fucking spoiled rotten Jeff.

#63 - Claudia's Freind Friend

Timeline
Spring, 3rd 8th grade year.

Plot
First of all, the actual title of this book is Claudia's Freind Friend.
Claudia is in danger of failing English, again. If she fails, her parents will make her quit the BSC, again. She discusses the problem with her friends, who decide they will tutor her. Stacey volunteers for the first shift, and she is super bossy and strict. Claudia is very put off by her. At the next BSC meeting, Stacey announces to everyone she will be Claudia's only tutor, to keep things consistent. Everyone agrees that is a good idea. Claudia is not happy. Stacey makes Claudia keep a journal that she can correct. Claudia not only keeps a journal for Stacey, but she starts a private journal so she can bitch about Stacey.

Also, Shea Rodowksy has recently been diagnosed as dyslexic. His mom calls the BSC and asks for a tutor, to which the girls agree. When Claudia is baby-sitting (not tutoring), they do some homework together and they click well because they both have problems learning. Shea tutors Claudia just as much as she helps him. The next time Mrs. Rodowsky calls, she says she wants Claudia to be Shea's only tutor.

Obviously, the two journals get mixed up and Stacey reads what Claudia says about her. They both realize they are being dicks and apologize to each other. It's oddly anticlimatic.

Also, as a weird side story, the girls start getting notes at the BSC meetings. They are very tame, saying things like "You are nice." All the girls think their boys are sending them notes. But it ends up being some of the BSC charges, who plan a little celebration for them.

Also, there is a weird, community spring dance that everyone goes to.

Takeaways
At the spring dance, Claudia and Shea dance. It's kind of weird. Like, he's only three years younger than her - they could totally date later.

Also, at the celebration, he slips Claudia a thank you note, and he signs it "your freind friend, Shea". Which Claudia saves in her jewelry box. I don't know. It just seemed weird, like they might be into each other.

I feel like if Stacey and Claudia were really such great friends, Claudia could have been like "dude, you are being a dick. Stop treating me like I'm stupid." Rather than writing it all out in a journal, which obviously would be found. Even if it wasn't found by Stacey, your friends are in your room three times a week rifling through all your shit. Someone was going to find that journal.

There is an entire chapter where Kristy is coaching her softball team and babysitting at the same time, so she has to like watch a one year old and a ton of kids. That just seems very unsafe.

Best Character
I honestly don't know. Maybe Shea, because he helps Claudia even though he really doesn't have to.

Worst Character
No one is really "The worst" in this book. I mean Stacey kind of sucks, but Claudia is extremely frustrating. I guess Mary Anne wins this one, because when the notes start appearing she actually starts crying because she thinks it is Logan sending them. Like her boyfriend of over a year would be like "You are nice."

#62 - Kristy and the Worst Kid Ever

Timeline
The kids play outside during this whole book, so it must be the beginning of spring during their third 6th grade/8th grade year.

Plot
The Papadakis family (who live across the street from Kristy) have decided to become a foster family, and they get a kid almost immediately. Lou (short for Louisa) shows up and she's a fucking terrorist. Her dad has died and her mom is no where to be found, so her and her brother got placed in foster homes, not together. She is rude, mean, and terrible to all the animals in the neighborhood. She even puts BooBoo, Kristy's family's cat, in a pillowcase and swings him around. Karen and Hannie (one of the Papadakis kids), and their other friend, Nancy, are spending all their time making a clubhouse in the back yard and Lou just rips on it all the time. All of the babysitters who have to babysit this terroristic brat end up losing their temper with her.

It all comes to a head when Kristy is babysitting and gets a call from Lou's social worker. She comes over and tells Lou they found an aunt and uncle who want to adopt her. Lou loses her goddamned mind bc she doesn't want an aunt/uncle, she wants her mom back. She trashes the Papadakis house and runs away. She runs into Kristy's yard and trashes the clubhouse. Then she ends up at a pond, where Kristy finds her and takes her home.

The Papadakis family throws a goodbye party for Lou. Her aunt and uncle come to pick her up and bring two surprises - 1. her brother, who they are also adopting, and 2. a new puppy for Lou. It seems like everything will work out just fine for her.

Subplot is that the Middle School is hosting an auction to raise money for new computers. The BSC struggles bc they can't come up with anything to donate. Cokie Mason gets a record store to donate a three minute shopping spree, so their donation has to be even better than that. Kristy gets the idea to ask celebrities for donations, so they send a bunch of letters and somehow actually get shit back from them. But what raised the most money at the auction? 24 hours of babysitting, donated by the BSC. Aw.

Takeaways
It took me so long to get through this book. It just could not hold my interest at all.

Why would the Papadakis's be a foster family, but then hire a babysitter all the fucking time?

During the scene when Lou is losing her mind, Mrs. Papadakis and the social worker are trying to reel her in. Kristy is just standing there watching, and finally Mrs. P is like "we've got it Kristy" so she leaves. I love that. Kristy is essentially a child, she doesn't need to be in the room for that.

Best Character
Honestly, probably Karen. Lou is a huge bitch to her, but Karen is always still trying to include her in stuff.

Worst Character
Duh, Lou, the cat swinger.