#31 - Dawn's Wicked Stepsister

Timeline: 

AGAIN - No timeline. So it has to still be the end of May, their 8th grade year. Seriously, give us a timeline here ANN.

Plot:
Continuing from the last book, Dawn's mom and MaryAnne's dad literally just got married and the book starts exactly where the last one left off, with the bouquet toss. MaryAnne catches it, which just starts everything off on the wrong foot. I'm not sure why either of them felt like they should be the one to catch it, since they are 13, but each girl felt it was owed to them.

The families merge, and it is just a disaster, for real. The girls are bitchy with each other, but for some reason they still think it's a great idea to share a room. So they shove all their shit into one room, even though MaryAnne's dresser has to be in another room because it just won't fit. They fight and battle it out, and they are just SO rude to each other.

They have a family cleaning day, and Dawn is just a bitch - she switches Richard's organized sock drawer around, just to be a bitch. Everything comes to a head when the girls are doing homework in their room and fight over music being played. Richard sides with Dawn and Sharon sides with MaryAnne, and then MaryAnne stomps off to the guest room.

Dawn then decides to go really low, and she calls her brother Jeff for advice on how to trick MaryAnne into leaving her room without having to actually talk to her about it. They plot this seriously terrible idea to scare the shit out of her with the secret passage. It works, and MaryAnne moves into the spare room. Then the family has a coming to Jesus meeting and everyone agrees to work on getting along better.

Sub plot was that the entire Pike family gets sick or injured. 

Takeaways:
Dawn is TERRIBLE in this book. I don't like her at all, officially. Couldn't she have just been like "look - we know this isn't working, one of us should move to the spare room. But I want to stay in here because I love the secret passage, do you mind?" and MaryAnne would have said that's fine, and everything would have been fine.

MaryAnne is also very un-MaryAnne in this book, which makes me feel like Dawn was lying about it. Like MaryAnne calls Dawn fat and then makes fun of her for not having a boyfriend. It is just very uncharacteristic.

Richard makes Sharon bacon every single morning, even though she doesn't eat meat. Richard, why are you wasting that delicious bacon?

Mallory gets the chicken pox, and I know that is terrible and itchy, but she is so pouty/whiny and annoying.

Best character: 
When Dawn wants advice on MaryAnne, she goes to Kristy. And even though Kristy is jealous and hurt, she talks to her for quite awhile. Kristy wins this week.

Worst character:
Do I really need to say it? Fucking Dawn! 

#30 - MaryAnne and the Great Romance

Timeline: 

No timeline. So it has to still be the end of May, their 8th grade year.

Plot:
MaryAnne's dad and Dawn's mom have been on like 25 dates, so they decide to get married. They clearly had already planned on it, but then Mr. Spier decides to surprise Mrs. Schafer on her birthday with a fancy dinner and engagement ring. MaryAnne and Dawn then plan a huge ass wedding in their heads, but they are shot down with their parents tell them they want a quiet, lowkey event, very soon.

It is decided that MaryAnne and her dad will move in with the Schafer's and when MaryAnne finds out she loses her goddamned mind. But then she gets over it. Her and Dawn decide to share a room.

The wedding is a little event, and then they go out to lunch. At that point MaryAnne starts worrying about her new life, then Mrs. Schafer throws the bouquet, and it's headed right towards MaryAnne and Dawn and.....to be continued.

Takeaways:
At the wedding lunch, Mr. Spier tries to feed Mrs. Spier veal. After 25 dates and now a marriage, he doesn't know she's a vegetarian? He acts all butt hurt when she doesn't accept it.

MaryAnne cries through the entire fucking wedding. Seriously. I know it's emotional, but get your life together. She completely messed up all of her makeup that Claudia wasted time doing for her.

The subplot in this book is that the Arnold twins hate each other because they have to share a room. MaryAnne sees that, and suggest that maybe a little distance will help. But does she take her own advice? Nope.

Best character: 
Probably Mr. Spier, because he plans a pretty nice proposal and then he gives MaryAnne a necklace he was saving for her 18th birthday that was her mother's.

Worst character:
Probably Mr. Spier, for trying to feed a vegetarian meat.

#29 - Mallory and the Mystery Diary

Timeline: 

No timeline. No holidays, no weather. Still towards the end of their 8th grade/6th grade year. 

Plot:
Stacey and her mom moved into an old house behind Mallory's in the last book, so they are moving and throwing things out. Mallory goes over to help and they find this dusty old trunk in the attic. It is locked, but Mallory loves it and Mrs. McGill says she can have it. Mallory stares at it for awhile and then has the triplets bust it open. In it, there is a diary from a girl who lived in the 1800's. Her mother dies, and a portrait of her goes missing. Her father gets the blame, and Sophie desperately wants to clear her father's name.

Mallory is also tutoring Buddy Barrett because he can't read. Stacey also tells Charlotte about the mystery, and between Charlotte and Buddy they solve the mystery. The painting was painted over because Sophie's father couldn't bear to look at his dead daughter. But then he doesn't want to admit he was sad, so he blamed Sophie's dad for the painting being missing. 

Takeaways:
Mallory is such a nerd in this book. She says she "races" home from school so she can look at her trunk. Look at it. This was before she had the triplets open it. I loved Mallory books as a kid, but I don't remember her being this nerdy.

Mallory starts to tutor Buddy, and she comes up with all these creative ways to teach him to read better. However, when they first get started, she wonders if Buddy might develop a crush on her. It was just such an out of place sentence, and Buddy never gives her any reason to think he has a crush on her.

When the mystery gets going, Mallory wants to hold a seance to reach Sophie's spirit. Kristy totally takes over and insists on running it, and then dresses like a...something (I don't think you're supposed to say gypsy anymore, but that's what she dressed as), and completely ruins the whole thing. No one seemed to care, but I would have been kinda pissed. 

Best character:
Buddy Barrett - he literally solves the mystery.

Worst character:
Kristy for ruining the seance.