#54 - Mallory and the Dream Horse

Timeline
No timeline, but the weather is nice and nothing has been mentioned, so we can assume it is still spring, of their second 6th grade/8th grade year

Plot
Mallory and Jessi love horses. So much so that they lay around on Saturday afternoons talking about their dream horses. It's kind of weird and creepy. 

Mallory finds a flier for riding lessons, and her and Jessi both immediately freak out and plan to take them. Mallory convinces her parents by offering to pay for half, but Jessi's parents are a hard no and she can't convince them otherwise. So Mallory does it by herself. And holy fucking shit...she finds her dream horse. Pax is his name. And Mallory creepily brings his treats and like hugs him and makes out with him every class, even if she doesn't get to ride him. 

But the lessons aren't great. Her outfit is old and not professional and no one in her class wants to be her friend. She, like, creepily tries to make friends but it doesn't work. Mallory is just kind of creepy.  And she keeps calling Jessi to talk to her about it, but Jessi is annoyed that she's not taking the lessons so she basically quits talking to her, too. So Mallory is miserable. Then she falls off her horse, flat on her back and knocks the wind out of herself, so then not only is she miserable, but terrified of horses. She suffers through the rest of her class, and then learns the horrible fact that at the end of the session they have a horse show. 

She tries to keep it quiet, but somehow her parents and all her friends find out and attend. She gets to ride Pax, and she ends up getting sixth place! Her parents are so proud they offer to pay for all of the lessons from now on. But then Mal tells them how miserable she was, and they tell her the offer is on the table even if she wants to wait. Then Mal goes to make out with Pax and say goodbye to him.

While all of this is happening, her brothers and sisters are planning and executing a talent show in their backyard with the entire neighborhood. Oh, and Nina and Eleanor Marshall are babysat a lot in this book, and Nina is obsessed with her blanky. It's huge and she even takes it to school with her, and kids make fun of her. But then Dawn rips it while taking it out of the dryer and she shows Nina how she can hide it in her pocket. Problem solved.

Takeaways
Mallory, like, tries to force kids to be friends with her. She invites them over and gives them her phone number, but then no one calls her because they all go to the same school and they don't understand why this creepy, badly dressed girl is so desperate to be their friend. And to be honest, I don't get it either. Between babysitting, the BSC and her family, it's not like she has spare time. But I guess when you are young, you always want more friends. I am just old and my friend capacity is full. 

Jessi is also kind of a big baby about the whole thing. Like yeah, her parents told her no, but then she pretty much refuses to let Mallory talk about it at all. It's not Mallory's fault your parents said no, Jessi. Also why would a ballerina want to risk their body by riding on a horse?

The whole Nina/Blanky story line makes no sense. 1. This blanket has never been brought up, and they have been babysitting that family for awhile. 2. Why would her parents even allow her to take it to school?

The younger Pike kids arrange an entire neighborhood talent show. The oldest of the younger Pike kids is 9. 9 fucking years old. So a 9 year old, an 8 year old, a 7 year old and a 5 year old can arrange a community event and pull it off without a hitch? Right.

Best character
Dawn, for her quick thinking of shoving that stupid blanket scrap in Nina's pocket so she could hide her creepy obsession with a blanket.

Worst character
Mallory, for being a creep. 

#53 - Kristy for President

Timeline
No timeline is mentioned, so springtime of their 8th grade year. Which makes no sense, why are they holding elections when the school year is almost over?

Plot
It's election time for Stoneybrook Middle School, and Kristy decides, with some prodding from Stacey and Claudia, to run for 8th grade class president. Mallory also decides to run for 6th grade secretary. Jessi helps Mallory with her simple campaign, and all the other girls help Kristy, with Claudia acting as campaign manager. 

Kristy becomes very un-Kristy in this book. She forgets deadlines, starts running late, kind of half asses her way through life and starts neglecting the Krushers. She fails a science test not once, but twice. She then realizes she has taken on too much and drops out of the race. Everyone seems to understand. Mallory wins her election. 

Also, Jamie Newton is trying to learn how to ride a bike and is a serious crazy person about it. And he sucks at it.

Takeaways
Claudia comes up with the slogan "K+" for Kristy's campaign. I don't think that is that great.

Kristy's competition is Pete Black, Alan Gray and Grace something. If Alan and Grace are really the horrible students that the girls always say that they are, how do they have the GPA's to run in the first place. Kristy votes for Pete Black and he wins. 

During one of the campaign events, Grace has like a mini movie crew recording people. At the end, her and Kristy get into it and Kristy looks right into the camera and tells Grace to go off and be a loser. It's super mean. But Grace and Cokie are bitches, so I get it.

Jamie is a complete moron about his bicycle. So his parents like order it from somewhere and it gets delivered when  babysitter is there. So she puts it together and then they start walking up and down the driveway. Jamie cannot grasp it, but for some reason he asks his dad to remove the training wheels and his dad FUCKING does it! Why does he do that? What a terrible father. Jamie is like 4, I highly doubt he knows what is best for himself. Also, while every single babysitter spends all their time walking Jamie up and down the driveway, his little sister Lucy is just sitting in a playpen that entire time. Awesome.

Best character
I would have to say Claudia. She runs Kristy's campaign for her and does all the posters, pins, marketing materials, etc. And then Kristy drops out of the race and Claudia is just like meh, whatever is best for you. 

Worst character
Jamie Newton. He's a little brat.

#52 - MaryAnne and Too Many Babies

Timeline

It must be springtime of their second 8th grade year - it is warm enough for MA to take babies on walks outside with just sweaters on. 

Plot

All of the 8th grade girls are in a class called Modern Living, where they get paired up as a married couple and are given an egg to use as a baby. Logan and MA are partners. Logan acts pretty ridiculous about their egg baby and doesn’t trust MA to take care of her (yes, they pretend the egg is a girl). They try to go on a date but it ends in a fight. 

Finally, the project ends and they both realize they are way too young to have kids and be married. Which I guess is the whole point of the project. 

Also MA has a semi steady sitting job for twin babies, hence the “too many babies” thing. 

Takeaways

These idiots are way too serious about their “egg babies”. They won’t put them down. They cry over them. Seriously it’s a fucking egg. 

In MaryAnne’s class she gets to choose her husband, but it seems like everyone else is assigned. 

The title of this book really doesn’t make a lot of sense, either. 

We had a class like this, too, but it wasn’t until later in high school. I think I was a junior?

Best character

The teacher of the Modern Living class. When the students are freaking out about their marriages and their eggs she’s just like “meh, it’ll buff out.”

Worst character

Kristy is married to Alan Gray and she spends like a half hour on the phone - during a babysitting job - with him to discuss their eggs social development. It’s literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen in a BSC book. 

#51 - Stacey’s Ex-Best Friend

Timeline

Valentine’s Day, second 8th grade year

Plot

Laine calls Stacey to brag about her week long middle of February school break (wtf is that?) and she’s basically a big bitch on the phone - she has a 15 year told boyfriend named King, she has all these magical options for her break, she calls Stacey “Anastacia” bc it sounds more grown up...but for some reason Stacey still begs her to come spend her break week in Stoneybrook. Laine never really agrees but Stacey kind of steamrolls her and all of a sudden she is in Steoneybrook. 

The visit is a disaster. Laine is a huge fucking bitch, she makes fun of everything about Stacey, the BSC, Stoneybrook and all the kids at SMS. It all comes to a head at the Valentine’s Day dance, where Laine is with Pete Black but she treats him like dog shit. Stacey blows up, Laine blows and then Laine gets on a train to go back to NYC early. Stacey writes her a break up letter and returns her part of their best friend necklace. 

Also, the girls plan a Valentines Day party for their kids, and it goes off well. 

Takeaways

Laine is such a fucking bitch in this book. I can’t believe it takes Stacey so long to blow up at her. 

There really isn’t much more to say about this book. 

Oh,except I still can’t believe how often these girls do “events” for their babysitting clients. 

Best character

Stacey, because she acts 13 and tries to make it work with Laine but it just doesn’t. And after she leaves she apologizes to everyone on her behalf. 

Worst character

Obviously Laine. What a bitch. 

#50 - Dawn’s Big Date

Timeline 

New Years Eve (yes, they skipped the entire holiday season), their 2nd 8th grade year

Plot

It’s New Years Eve and the girls have a slumber party. They all make resolutions, but Dawn makes a secret resolution to make herself more attractive to boys. Then MA tells her a few days later that Logan’s cousin Lewis, who Dawn has been penpals with for awhile, is coming to visit. Dawn decides to test some things out on Lewis. She changes her look, her attitude...everything. She kind of loses her mind. MA encourages the behavior and basically tells Dawn it’s time to change. Then Lewis comes and Dawn sucks, so he doesn’t like her. MA is still acting like a bitch so the girls fight. And the rest of the BSC is annoyed with Dawn acting like a psycho. 

Dawn really wants to use Lewis to figure out how to make boys like her, so she invites him over. About five minutes into the second date she realizes how much her new life sucks and confesses to Lewis that she was changing to impress him. He is like oh thank god, and Dawn changes her clothes and becomes herself again. And he and Dawn fall in love. 

Takeaways 

I think the copy of the book I have is my original from when I was a kid. It literally fell apart in my hands, and I read this book a lot growing up. I loved it. 

Dawn and MA get all these dating tips out of magazines. I remember reading them as a kid and tucking them away into my memory. Like compliment boys, say their names, have “you directed” conversations. 

Dawn is always portrayed as the “easy going, doesn’t care what people think, casual”type person, but almost every book proves that is not true. 

On their first date, Lewis and Dawn and MA and Logan go to see Gone With the Wind. It seriously sounds miserable to sit through that movie on a first date when you’re 13. MA picked it of course. When Dawn picks their second date they go bowling which sounds so much more fun. 

During the first date MA pinches Dawn every time she thinks she does something stupid. It’s so fucking rude. 

Best character

Lewis definitely wins. Dawn is a nutcase and a horrible date, but he still agrees to give her another shot and then tells her how great she was just the way she was. 

Worst character

Dawn and MaryAnne are pretty much tied for this one. 

#49 - Claudia and the Genius of Elm Street

Timeline

Nothing mentioned. It has to be nearing the end of the second 8th grade year right? Claudia mentions the weather is cloudy and cool, so I’m still going with spring. 

Plot

The BSC has a new client, Rosie. Rosie is a genius and an actress and a singer and a piano player. And a dancer. Claudia has nothing in common with her and Rosie is kind of a brat so she dreads babysitting for her. 

As Claudia gets to know her, though, it becomes apparent that Rosie is pretty misunderstood and miserable. She doesn’t want to do all that shit, but her parents make her. She sees Claudia drawing one day and asks some questions, and it ends up that is one of her talents as well. But it is one she actually really enjoys. So Claudia convinces her to talk to her parents, who agree she can take art lessons from Claudia and they will chill about everything else. 

Also, Claudia and the club decide to put on an art show featuring Claudia’s “junk food” series. 

Takeaways

Rosie is in a crossword puzzle contest. What the fuck? Stoneybrook schools are so weird. 

Claudia calls Janine to come over and help Rosie with her homework. Janine does it. It’s kind of weird. And Janine doesn’t like Rosie either. 

Rosie is only 7. Seven. There is no way a seven year old would be like this. The BSC is so off with their ages. 

Best character 

Janine for helping babysit Rosie. Not only does she come with Claudia calls, but also Jessi calls her and she comes running. 

Worst character 

Rosie’s mom - she is an uppidity bitchy stage mom until the very end of the book. 

#48 - Jessi’s Wish

Timeline

Still nothing mentioned, so spring of their second 6th grade/8th grade year

Plot

Some of the kids in Stoneybrook are in this “Kids Club”where they do community service. Jessi’s little sister is in the club and she comes home freaking out bc one of the club sponsors is leaving town for a long time and they have to disband. Jessi decides to step up, if the BSC will allow it, and be the second sponsor so the club can continue. Not only will the BSC allow it, but they all decide to slow down on the babysitting and do some community service for a month. 

While helping this Kids Club, Jessi meets a little girl named Danielle who has cancer. She mentions to Jessi that she wants to go to DisneyLand, and Jessi researches a little and finds the BSC version of Make-A-Wish. They grant her wish, but then at the end of the book Jessi finds out she is back in the hospital. 

Takeaways

The club was so busy last book that they lost their goddamned minds that Mallory wanted to take three weeks off. But somehow now they can all take a month off to do community service?

Becca and Charlotte befriend Danielle when everyone else is kind of scared of her. It’s so sweet. 

I didn’t like this book as a kid. I just plain old didn’t like Jessi books, but also this book is depressing as fuck. 

We have no idea if Danielle lives or dies. We never hear about her again. 

Best character

Jessi, obvi. She’s pretty selfless in this book. 

Worst character

There really isn’t a bad character in this book. Everyone is really nice and thoughtful and giving.