#23 Dawn on the Coast

Timeline: Alright folks, this is where the timeline jumps off the fucking cliff and just starts swimming around, doing whatever the fuck it wants. Somehow, we have skipped winter time and all the holidays and we have landed at spring break of the girls 8th grade and 6th grade years.

Plot: The girls have two weeks off for spring break (TWO WEEKS?) and Dawn heads to California to spend time with her Dad and Jeff. Of course, she falls back in love with California and decides she might want to move back there. I mean, California has everything she wants: sunshine, her dad and Jeff, good food, and a copycat Baby-sitters Club (her friend Sunny has created a subpar version of her own BSC, called the We Love Kids Club). Dawn gets seriously annoying about this, and already tells Sunny that she may want to move back, and talks to her Dad and Jeff about it, so Jeff gets all excited. But then something happens, and all of a sudden she knows she has to go back to Stoneybrook. Oh I don't know, Dawn, like maybe the fact that you promised your mom you would come back? So Dawn goes back to Stoneybrook and tells her mom she was thinking the whole time she may want to stay there, but she didn't. The end.

Takeaways:
Even though they just dealt with Kristy being bossy in the last book, she seems to still have a problem with it in this book. Well, and every book until the end (I assume, I've never read the last books).

Dawn flips her shit because at the We Love Kids Club they serve apple slices instead of candy. Like, that's seriously one of her reasons for wanting to move back there.

Also, she loves how casual the meetings are, like they don't have offices or anything. Even though in the last book she was fighting to the death because she wanted a new office.

While she is in California, her friends send her post cards about their sitting jobs. Why? That's so lame. Plus, that means they wrote about their jobs in the club notebook, then turned around and wrote them again on a postcard.

I'm sorry, but one more time...who gets two weeks off for spring break in middle school?

Best character:
I think this week the winner is Mrs. Bruen, the housekeeper. Her breakfasts sound LEGIT.

Worst character:
You think I'm going to say Dawn because she gets all California obsessed and almost leaves her poor lonely mother alone is Stoneybrook...and you are right.

#22: Jessi Ramsey, Pet-Sitter

Timeline
Still between Halloween and Thanksgiving, Jessi and Mallory's 6th grade year and all the other girls' 8th grade year.

Plot
A call comes in to the BSC headquarters asking for a pet-sitter for a week. Despite Kristy's refusal, the other girls convince her to let Jessi take the job, as she has that exact week off from her other obligations. So Jessi pet-sits for several animals - a bunch of dogs, cats, a snake, hamsters, birds, etc. It sounds rather disgusting. But Jessi does a really good job, and even has to handle an emergency - one of the hamsters is pregnant (slut) and Jessi has to take her to the vet and then take care of her as she drops her shorties.

Also happening in Stoneybrook - the girls are in the fight of their lives. Everyone is sick of Kristy being such a bossy bia, and they decide to have elections to re-elect the offices of the BSC. Then they fight about how the elections should be ran. Then they finally have the elections, and everyone unanimously votes everyone into the office the already hold. They all laugh. The end.

Oh, and Jessi and Mal each get to pick out a hamster to keep for themselves. Jackie Rodowsky also gets one.

Takeaways
I LOVED this book when I was a kid. I would skip the pet sitting bullshit and just read the chapters of the girls fighting. Re-reading it as an adult was not as exhilarating.

The main reason the girls start fighting is because Kristy doesn't trust that they are reading the club notebook (where they record all their babysitting jobs, with details...like a journal). She wants to make a checklist so they can mark it off when they get done. 1. They could easily lie and just put a checkmark, Kristy. and 2. This made me think that if the BSC took place now, they would have like an online blog or some website they could enter their jobs in at.

Side note - I wonder if all the girls make the same amount of money? Like do they all work for the same rate? Because nowadays, parents could also Venmo or Paypal the money to them. But it would get annoying if the girls weren't all charging the same amount.

Best Character
Jessi, duh. She is, like, a world class pet sitter. Even if those chapters are boring. And she lets all her friends come over with their baby-sitting charges, even stupid ol' MaryAnne who lets the fucking snake out of the cage.

Worst Character
MaryAnne for sure. How the fuck do you let a snake out of a cage?

#21 Mallory and the Trouble with Twins

Timeline
Must still be between Halloween and Thanksgiving, cause ain't shit happening regarding holidays, school, weather, etc.

Plot
Mallory gets a regular job sitting for some new clients, the Arnold's, for like six weeks. The Arnold's have twin girls, Marilyn and Carolyn. At first they are okay, but then Mallory tells them they look like book ends and they lose their shit. They rip off the only identifying things about them (their bracelets with their names) and just start terrorizing Mallory. Claudia takes a turn babysitting them, and they do it to her too. They even go as far as to switch places, and one of them goes to the others one's piano lesson.
Finally Mallory realizes the reason they are such bitches is because they are sick of not having seperate idenities. Mallory asks them about it and they admit it. Then Mallory offers to sit with them and talk to their mother. Their mother gets it, and allows the girls to start being themselves and dress differently. Everyone is happy.
Oh, and throughout the entire book Mallory whines about how lame she is, with her curly frizzy hair and her glasses and her braces and her holeless ears. So then she gets inspiration from the twins and talks to her own parents, who allow her to pierce her ears and cut her hair. So she is happy, too. The end.

Takeaways
Mallory talks about negotiating in this book - she asks her parents for a new wardrobe, a new haircut, pierces ears, and something else ridiculous - and then they give her the haircut and the ears, which is all she really wanted anyway. But I specifically remember reading that as a kid and thinking she was a goddamned genius.

The girls are absolutely obsessed with getting their ears pierced - both Jessi and Mallory are like in depressions because they haven't been allowed to as of yet. Maybe I was weird, but this just was not a big deal to me as a kid. My aunt took me to get my ears pierced when I was seven, and I seriously have worn earrings like three times since then.

I'm assuming the dad just works, because divorce or death is never mentioned, but these twins' dad has literally shit to do with them. He is never there, never mentioned, and Mrs. Arnold seems to make every decision about their daughters.

Best Character
Mallory wins. I feel like Mallory might be my secret favorite babysitter.

Worst Character
There really isn't a worst character this week. The twins are jerks, but they are also like 8, so they are just acting like 8 year olds.

Oh wait. Yes there is a worst character, even though she ends up coming around. The mom of these girls completely blames Claudia when the girls switch spots and one of them misses their piano lessons. Um, it's your bitchy girls' fault, Mrs. Arnold, not Claudia's.

#20 - Kristy and the Walking Disaster

Timeline
So it's supposed to be between Halloween and Thanksgiving, but somehow it's still warm enough that kids can play softball in just tshirts. I don't buy that. They are in Connecticut, not Florida.

Plot
While baby-sitting, Kristy notices that a bunch of kids love softball, but are either too young, too scared, or too sucky to play Little League. There is a guy in her neighborhood, Bart, who coaches a team of pre-Little Leaugers, so she walks to his house and asks him to take on all these kids, but he says he doesn't have room. So Kristy decides to start her own team. Oh, and she falls in love with Bart.

She rounds the kids up, they decide to be called Kristy's Krushers, and pretty soon Bart challenges them to play a game against his Bashers. The Krushers lose the game, but they never give up. Bart walks Kristy home from the game and holds her hold for a hot minute, then makes her promise they can hang out soon.

Takeaways
This book is actually kind of boring, and the title doesn't make much sense - like yes, Jackie Rodowsky is a walking disaster, and yes, he is on the team, but the book isn't, like, all about him.

Kristy talks a lot about Watson in this book - he loves softball and organizing things. She finally seems to be coming around, and he is really nice to her.

I find it hard to believe that Stoneybrook doesn't have softball or tee ball or something for younger kids - I think Omaha has shit like that for kids when they are like three.

I seriously don't have much else to say...the Krushers lose the game, but they score like ten runs, which is pretty impressive.

The other baby-sitters really aren't in the book at all, except for helping out at practice and at the game. Oh, and Bart sounds super hot.

Best character
I'm going to give this one to Kristy. She not only runs a club where she babysits all the fucking time, but in the small amount of spare time that she has, she has decided to donate her time to helping kids with their softball skills. I have gone to kids sporting events and just sitting in the stands is irritating and frustating, I can't imagine coaching.

Worst character
Bart and some of his Bashers come to one of the Krusher practices to spy, and the Bashers are little fuckers. They call the kids idiots, fatsos and babies. Not cool, Bashers.

#19 - Claudia and the Bad Joke

Timeline: 
Between Halloween and Christmas, 8th grade

Plot:
Claudia babysits for a new client, Rosie, who loves pranking people. She gets Claudia to swing on a broken swing, and Claudia falls and breaks her leg. She is in the hospital for over a week and then at home for a few more weeks, meaning she misses 3.5 weeks of school.

The baby-sitters work at getting back at Rosie, but they continuously get outpranked by her. Finally, Kristy takes her to a movie and gets her - she switches seats when Rosie is out getting popcorn, she puts a bloody thumb in the popcorn box and Rosie loses her mind. Rosie learns her lesson, then, and goes to Claudia's house to apologize.

During this whole debacle, Claudia is thinking she wants to quit the Baby-Sitters Club because baby-sitting is too dangerous. But then she decides she was actually just embarrassed and decides to stay in the club.

Takeaways:
Near the beginning of the book, Claudia talks about how Dawn has been sticking around after club meetings and staying for dinner at her house because she doesn't want to go home to an empty house now that Jeff has moved back to California. That's sad. I wish they had explored a Dawn-Claudia best friendship a little more. They make a lot more sense than Dawn and MaryAnne.

This book is actually pretty boring. Well, the Claudia chapters are super boring. Basically all she does is whine and contemplate whether or not she should quit the BSC. And her reason for quitting the BSC is so lame. Baby-sitting is too dangerous? Get a reality check, Claud.

If I were a parent, and I found out that my baby-sitter sent my child out to get popcorn and then got up and moved, I would fucking kill said baby-sitter. That is so not safe. Well, maybe in the 80's it was safer than it is now, but NOT COOL KRISTY.

Best characters:
Mimi wins this week. She has to deal with Claudia being home with a broken leg for 2+ weeks, and the woman has the patience of a saint. Plus she makes Claudia really good breakfasts.

Worst characters:
I mean, obviously Rosie was a little bitch who pranked Claudia and she wound up with a broken leg. But also, there was something so evil about the way she would be like "no more pranks. I promise." and then fucking buzz someone or feed them shaving cream. PRANKS ARE MEAN!

#18 - Stacey's Mistake

Timeline: After Halloween, but before Thanksgiving during their 8th grade year.

Plot: Stacey has been living in New York for awhile now and hasn't seen her friends yet. Her parents, along with all the parents in the building, are having a big meeting to solve the problem of homelessness in their neighborhood, and all those parents need baby-sitters. Stacey invites all her friends up for the weekend so they can take care of all the kids.

However, her friends are disasters. MaryAnne is an expert on New York and can't stop quoting facts and figures to everyone she sees. Dawn is terrified of the city and acts like a moron. Claudia is jealous of Stacey's New York best friend, Laine, and picks fights with her. Kristy isn't really any different than she normally is, but she gets on Stacey's nerves too. Everything comes to a head after a party that Stacey throws at her apartment so that her New York friends can get to know her Connecticut friends, and it's a fucking nightmare.

After that, Stacey calls a truce because they all have to babysit the next day. They take ten kids to a museum and to Central Park, and by the end of the day they are all best friends again. Then Laine calls and wants to make up, so she takes them all to dinner and a broadway play in a limo.

Then the next day the girls leave.

Takeaways: 
Claudia takes a huge suitcase with her and everyone is all annoyed. But Stacey takes it a step further and freaks out because it has wheels. What the fuck, Stacey, Most suitcases have wheels, you mutt.

Stacey is a pretty huge bitch to her friends during the beginning of this book. She just gets super annoyed with them and thinks they are so immature. I wish this didn't make me hate Stacey this much. Like - when Laine comes to her apartment, she gets rammy and weird because Laine is dressed so grown up and looks at least 19. Claudia looks cool, but not grown up and could only pass for 15. Seriously. They are 13. They should look 13.

During the morning, Stacey is laying in bed thinking about how all of her friends are annoying and have problems, but none of them are HER problems so they all need to just deal with it. Why did AMM write her to be such a bitch?

Then, during the day, Stacey acts excited about seeing something and Claudia is like "wow, it's nice to see you actually get excited about something" and that's the first inkling Stacey has that maybe her friends are annoyed with her, too.

Best character:
I am going to give this award to the McGill's because they let four girls take over their apartment, allow Stacey to throw a party, and deal with their squabbling all weekend long. They just keep disappearing together (to go out to breakfast, to go on a walk), which is weird since (spoiler alert) they are divorced in ten books.

Worst character:
You probably think I'm going to give this one to Stacey....and you are right.

#17 - MaryAnne's Bad Luck Mystery

Timeline: 
Finally, folks, we have a timeline! This book takes place at Halloween time of their 8th grade year.

Plot:
MaryAnne's life is going along pretty awesomely. She is the only one of her friends with a boyfriend, and he's, like, the hottest guy in 8th grade (these two mean girls, Cokie and Grace especially think he's the hottest guy in 8th grade and they spend a lot of time staring at him and giving MA dirty looks). She has awesome friends, She has a kitten and her dad is pretty cool lately. But then she gets a chain letter in the mail, which she ignores. And then all hell breaks loose.

She soon gets a package in the mail with a "bad luck charm" in it and a note telling her she has to wear it or else. So she does and bad luck is bestowed upon all the sitters. Kids start getting hurt during babysitting jobs, they lose stuff, they fall out of their beds. I mean, we are talking about really bad stuff here.

MaryAnne and Logan go to the Halloween Hop dressed as cats, and while they are there Mean Girl Grace notices the bad luck charm and comments on it. When MA gets home there is another, more deadly, note. It tells her to go to the cemetery at midnight on Halloween and go to Old Hickory's grave with the BSC club. MaryAnne freaks out, calls everyone and they develop a plan to have Charlie pick everyone up, they will go to the cemetery, and then they will have a slumber party at Kristy's.

However, the next morning MA's dad tells her that the charm on her necklace does not mean bad luck, but a symbol of faith. So MA is all "how did Grace know it was bad luck when no one told her that's what we thought it meant?" and then she pieces it all together and the BSC put together a plan to scare the crap out of the mean girls in the cemetery at midnight. Which they do, and then they have a slumber party.

Takeaways:
I guess in middle school some of the things that happen to the girls would seem detrimental, but wow, as an adult they seem stupid. MA falls out of bed, Kristy loses her watch, Mallory has to get braces (which she already knew....), Jessi fell during ballet, Claudia fails a spelling test (which she always does....)....they seem pretty fucking stupid.

Grace and Cokie (side note, what the hell kind of name is Cokie?) set all this up and then invite Logan to the cemetery too. Their reasoning? So Logan can see the girls all being made to look like fools so he will dump MaryAnne. Come on.

Charlie drives the girls to the cemetery and then is their get away car. I am just a little surprised he didn't have better things to do on Halloween night.

Best character:
I have to give this one to Charlie.

Worst character:
I mean, obviously Cokie and Grace are fucking bitches in this book.