#81 - Kristy and Mr. Mom

Timeline

January of their 5th eighth grade year. Yep, we skipped all the holidays with no mention.

Plot
Watson, Kristy's stepfather has a heart attack. While it is minor and he ends up fine, he needs to make some lifestyle changes, one of them being he needs to cut back on stress due to work. So he decides to go very very part time at work and be more active at home. This makes Nannie feel like she's not needed, so she moves out. As soon as she moves out though, the entire household goes to shit. So Kristy goes to her new apartment and basically tells her to come back, so she does. So she's literally gone like...maybe ten days?

Subplot is that Mrs. Marshall, who has two little girls, has been calling for babysitting but not telling them that one of her friends, who has three kids, will have her kids there too. She only pays for her two, though, and her friend doesn't pay anything. She does it twice, and then when she calls for a third time both Claudia and Stacey go, and Mrs. Marshall is like nope, I only asked for one babysitter so I will only pay for one. So then they both leave and Mrs. Marshall is effed. Kristy finally calls to explain what happened, and then Mrs. Marshall realizes she's not being cool and they make up.

Takeaways
Okay first of all, when Watson has his heart attack I legit started crying.

So Mrs. Marshall calls and asks for a babysitter and then when Dawn gets there she finds the three extra kids. When Mrs. M pays her, she only pays for two. So what should have happened was Dawn goes to the next BSC meeting, then Kristy calls Mrs. Marshall and explains that anything over 4 kids requires two sitters and you have to pay her kid. Problem fucking solved. I don't understand why they didn't think of that themselves. Morons.

Nannie decides to move out without ever explaining why to anyone.

Why are all of the characters in this book afraid to actually talk to each other about their problems?

Best Character
I'm going to go with Kristy. She has to pick up the slack majorly when Watson goes into the hospital, then when he comes home and Nannie leaves. She even has to give all her siblings money for lunch when Watson not only didn't go grocery shopping, but also had no money.

Worst Character
Fucking Mrs. Marshall's cheap ass wins this one. 

#80 - Mallory Pike, #1 Fan

Timeline
Fall of their 5th sixth grade/eighth grade year

Plot
Mallory has a new assignment where she has to figure out a project on what she wants to do when she grows up. She knows she wants to be a children's author, so she decides to write a play and have the kids in the Kids Can Do Anything Club act it out. She gets permission, but then her teacher tells her that's not enough for the assignment. So she also decides to interview her new favorite author, Henrietta Hayes. She writes her three letters and just gets form letters back, but then she does a little research and finds out Henrietta lives in Stoneybrook! Mallory rides her bike to her house and not only does Henrietta invite her in, but she hires her as her assistant.

Mallory reads a quote from Earnest Hemmingway about how real authors base their writings off personal experience. So she decides the play she writes has to be about her real life, and she writes an absolutely terrible play where she is a perfect person and her entire family are a bunch of aholes. The other babysitters and all the kids in the play tell her it's mean, but she refuses to budge on her "autobiographical" ideas of writing. She then does some research on Henrietta and finds out her life has actually been really sad - both her parents and her brother died in a fire, her husband left her and her only child got killed - but rather than feel bad for her, Mallory gets pissed bc her books are happy, and clearly Henrietta is a liar bc her life isn't happy. So Mallory is super mean to her, writes her a letter and calls her a liar, and then quits her job as her assistant.

Meanwhile, Mallory's family finds out about her play and they are fucking pissed, so they boycott it. Mallory's mom gets involved and goes to see a dress rehearsal of it and agrees it is mean. So Mallory has to rewrite it. And she's pissed at her mentor. Her life is kind of awful.

Then she finally wakes up. She rewrites the play and makes up with Henrietta. Her newly written play goes well, she gets an A on her project and Henrietta is writing a new sequel to the books Mallory loves and dedicates it to her.

The end.

Takeaways
Mallory is such a fucking moron in this book. She seems to forget what "fiction" means, even though writing is supposedly her passion. Stacey is even like "um what about Peter Pan and Charlotte's Web?" and Mallory just blows her off.

When Mallory is writing her play, she calls the character based off herself "Valerie", the one based off Vanessa "Ranessa" and so on. She's so fucking stupid.

I also cannot believe how rude she is to her "favorite" author.

Also, how is a pretty famous author living in Stoneybrook but no one knows? I feel like for as many "authors" days as the school has, she maybe would have been invited since she lives down the fucking street?

Best Character
Vanessa because she takes the lead on not letting Mallory embarrass the entire family.

Worst Character
Fucking Mallory.

#79 - Mary Anne Breaks the Rules

Timeline
Halloween time of their 5th 8th grade year

Plot
Mary Anne is so so happy. Can't stop talking and thinking about how happy she is. She takes a baby-sitting job at the Kuhn's, whose dad just left and moved far away. The two girls are okay, but Jake, the oldest boy, is not handling it well. Mary Anne invites Logan over while she is babysitting to do "boy stuff" and Jake becomes a happy go lucky kid again. So MA keeps inviting Logan over. One day, the three kids and Logan and MA are inside eating a snack when the mom comes home, and the mom LOSES her mind that MA invited her boyfriend over. She yells at Logan and MA. Then calls Kristy and yells at Kristy. Then Kristy yells at MA. Then Kristy yells at Logan. MaryAnne cries through all of this.

Then Mrs. Kuhn actually talks to her son and finds out that there was no hanky panky, it was all just Logan trying to be a good mentor for Jake. So she and Jake go over to MA's house and apologize. Then she calls Logan and apologizes. Then she calls Kristy and apologizes. Everyone makes up. Mary Anne cries through all of this.

The subplot is that all the kids in Stoneybrook split up and make competing haunted houses. Alan Gray helps one of them out.

Takeaways
I have to admit, this book is pretty freaking boring.

The conflict with MA, Logan and the Kuhn's gets wrapped up in chapter 13. That left two entire chapters at the end that is just about the kids' haunted houses. Very boring.

The most annoying thing about this book is that is MA had just asked Mrs. Kuhn is Logan can come over and explained why she wanted him to, everything would have been fine. Or, maybe they should have just asked Logan to take one of the jobs. It's very un-MaryAnne like to not ask permission.

Also in this book MA says her dad got  remarried when she was 12. Nope. Wrong. She was 13. But I understand her confusion, since this is her 5th time through 8th grade.

Best Character
Dawn - everytime MA calls her to cry about stuff, Dawn tells her it will all blow over and to calm down. And she was right.

Worst Character
Probably Logan, because when Mrs. Kuhn comes home and finds him sitting there, he just fucking bolts.  Like literally just runs out the door.

#78 - Claudia and Crazy Peaches

Timeline
Fall, their 5th time through 8th grade

Plot
Claudia's crazy Aunt Peaches is pregnant, and they immediantly buy  a bigger house in Stoneybrook. There is a month between move out and move in day, so they move in with the Kishi's. Claudia is so excited, but then Peaches always wants to be doing something...making a huge dinner, going shopping, going to movies, sneaking out of the house at midnight...and Claudia ends up in trouble, but then screams at Peaches that it is all her fault. They tiptoe around each other, and then Peaches finally yells at Claudia for being an immature teenager. A few days later, Peaches loses the baby. Claudia thinks it is all her fault for yelling at Peaches. She apologizes, Peaches apologizes, and they make up.

Subplot is that there is a new babysitting charge in town, Natalie, who has no friends. The BSC takes it upon themselves to get her some friends and launch what they call the "Friendship Campaign". Natalie doesn't make it easy, but eventually becomes friends with Becca and Charlotte.

Also, MaryAnne is teaching Claudia how to knit.

Takeaways
When Peaches calls Claudia to tell her she is pregnant, she says she will have a cousin in seven months. So she is two months along. And she has already quit her job to be a stay at home mom. What the fuck.

Also, they move in with the Kishi's for a month, and the very first day Peaches and Claudia go on a massive shopping spree for everything needed for the baby. With seven months to go. So she must not be planning on having any showers?

The miscarriage was pretty tough to read about.

Claudia is the first one to babysit Natalie, and Natalie kind of latches on to her. Claudia comes home one day and Natalie is just sitting on her front step waiting for her. My question is - why did her parents allow her to just go sit on a teenagers doorstep? Natalie is 8 years old.

Best Character
MaryAnne, because Claudia is fucking hopeless when she starts knitting and she has the patience to help her learn.

Worst Character
I would say Claudia's mom. When Peaches wakes Claudia up to sneak out to get pizza at midnight, Claudia's mom freaks out on Claudia. Um. It was fucking Peaches's fault, Claudia's mom.

#77 - Dawn and Whitney, Friends Forever

Timeline
Summer time, after their fourth 8th grade year

Plot
Dawn is still in California and still babysitting with the We Love Kids Club, which has become more organized. They get a call from a dad who wants a babysitter for his 12 year old mentally handicapped daughter, Whitney. Whitney is pretty high functional, but still can't be left alone. They ask Dawn to pretend like she is just a friend coming over to hang out, to protect Whitney's feelings. She feels she is too old for a babysitter. Even though she is scared to cross the street by herself.

Everything works out well for awhile. Dawn takes Whitney over to meet her other babysitting charges, Clover and Daffodil, and Whitney is really good with them. But other people stare and judge Whitney pretty hard. Dawn is uncomfortable with how terrible people treat her, especially when one of her dad's girlfriends is absolutely terrible to her.

Oh, also, Dawn's dad is dating everyone in sight. He is trying to get over Carol, who he just broke off an engagement with. He makes Dawn and Jeff go on his second dates with him every time he meets a new girl.

Anyway, back to Whitney. She buys Dawn a best friend necklace and really truly believes they are just friends hanging out. But then one day they are together and Whitney wants to eat more ice cream, which her mom specifically told Dawn not to allow her to do. Whitney is a huge brat about it and finally Dawn is like "dude, I'm your babysitter, do what I say!" And Whitney is PISSED.

A few days later, Dawn is babysitting Clover and Daffodil and she runs inside to get them a drink and when she comes back, they are gone. She freaks the fuck out, calls the cops, organizes a search party...and she ends up finding them at a carnival with Whitney. She went to the yard and took them, thinking if she showed everyone what a good babysitter she was people would think she is a grown up. Also Carol is at the carnival and she comes up and hugs Dawn and says they Whitney did a really good job with the girls.

Dawn and Whitney make up and Dawn makes her an honorary member of the We Love Kids Club, meaning she can go on jobs with the girls.

Also, back in Stoneybrook Mrs. Barrett and Mr. DeWitt are getting married. The kids are pissed at first, and then they get over it.

Oh, and Dawn's dad and Carol get back together and get re-engaged.

Takeaways
At one point in this book, the ghost writer for Ann forgets it's a Dawn book and randomly Dawn starts speaking in the third person...."blah blah blah", Dawn said. It's highly annoying and lazy. Also there are editing errors everywhere that drove me crazy.

Dude, so much happened in this book.

First of all, were mentally challenged people really that discriminated against? Her dad's date who is awful to her is like a HUGE BITCH. She flat out says Whitney is disgusting and gross to look at. Do people really do that? Was that an 80's thing? I grew up in a town that had an entire campus for mentally handicapped people, so I guess I was just used to seeing them and it didn't bother me, ever. Why would it bother people? Maybe seeing me bothered them.

Anyway, that being said....Whitney freaking kidnaps two kids (who should have known better than to go with her, but that's another story). Why is 1. that just okay 2. it's just like accepted and no one ever tells Whitney that she kidnapped two kids and 3. it gets her A SPOT IN THE CLUB AS A CHILD CARETAKER.

Dawn's dad dates at least three different women in this book, and he always does the same thing - he makes Dawn and Jeff go with them on his second date. Why? A second date is really soon to be like "hey, I know we just met, but look at all this awesome baggage I'm bringing into our relationship," I mean, maybe it was his way of weeding people out quickly.


Best Character
Dawn. She tried really hard to keep it a secret from Whitney that she was being paid to hang out with her. And also, she could see that her dad really missed Carol and suggested he call her, even though she wasn't a huge fan of her.

Worst Character
I'm going with Whitney. 1. If she hadn't insisted on eating not one but TWO ice cream sandwiches, she never would have found out that Dawn was really her babysitter. 2. She is a kidnapper.

#76 - Stacey's Lie

Timeline
So it's the end of their 4th repeat of 6th grade/8th grade. Also, the last day of school is in this book, and two weeks later it's the 4th of July. So they must go to school until mid-June? That sucks.

Plot
Stacey still has her boyfriend Robert. She is all bummed because he is spending the summer at this place, Fire Island, and won't be in Stoneybrook. Stacey is excited to have a weekend left with him, thought, before she spends the next weekend with her dad and then Robert leaves after that. But then her dad calls and asks her to move her weekend with him up. Thinking she would still have the next weekend with Robert, she agrees. Then Robert tells her he is actually leaving a weekend early. So Stacey is all depressed and briefly considers blowing her dad off, but ultimately does not.

When she gets to New York, her dad tells her that he is taking two weeks off and wants to take Stacey wherever she wants on vacation. Of all the places in the goddamned world, she picks Fire Island so she can be with Robert. Her dad agrees, and tells her to invite Claudia. So Stacey tells Robert she will be there for two weeks, but doesn't tell Claudia or her dad that Robert will be there. Claudia finds out right away, and if okay with it for awhile but then Stacey basically blows her off several times a day. One night, Claudia and Stacey are supposed to have a best friend night, but Stacey rushes her through it so that she can go meet Robert after. Claudia FINALLY blows up. Stacey goes to meet Robert anyway, and they are walking on the beach when suddenly they see Stacey's father, with his new girlfriend. So now Stacey and her dad are mad at each other for lying.

This happens right as MaryAnne, Shannon and Kristy are coming for the long weekend. Everyone fights and hates on Stacey, and the three girls end up leaving a full day early bc it sucks. Here's the kicker - Claudia is supposed to stay for an entire week longer, but she leaves too. Fuck off, Stacey.

After that, Robert finally realizes the evil that is Stacey and breaks up with her. Girlfriend is having a rough go at it. Her and her father finally apologize to each other, and then Stacey goes to sit on the beach and pout. Robert finds her and they get back together, but he admits to her he can't really trust her after watching her lie to everyone around her.

She goes back to Stoneybrook and everyone makes up.

Also, a weird ass side story is that Mallory and Jessi have a summer job at a daycamp, where Vanessa and Haley get into a huge fight because they are wearing the same swim suit. They are terribly mean to each other, and then Jessi/Mal trick them into making up.

Takeaways
This was the first book I had to buy on iBooks because I don't have a hardcopy of it. I HATE!!

Stacey mentions that Robert is almost as hot as Jason Priestly (fucking heartthrob) and her and Claudia watch a Johnny Depp movie. It's not often that real life pop culture references end up in these books.

Stacey is just a lying, conniving bitch throughout this whole book. I wish Robert would have really broken up with her. I'm also surprised Claudia is so quick to forgive her. I would be PISSED if someone did that to me.

I love how the three girls and Claudia are like "fuck this, I'm out". You know you done fucked up when your friends would rather go home than spend an extra day on the beach with you.


Best Character
Probably Kristy, because when she gets to Fire Island and Claudia fills her in, she wastes not one minute telling Stacey it's all her fault that everyone is mad at her. Stacey paints herself as the victim basically until Robert tells her all she does is lie. Then she is like "oh yeah, I guess I did lie a lot." Fuck you, Stacey.

Worst Character
Fuck you, Stacey.

#75 - Jessi's Horrible Prank

Timeline
Same as before - spring time of their 4th repeated 6th grade/8th grade year

Plot
Jessi has a new class with a new teacher - Mr. Trout, and the class is computer programming so of course he is a huge nerd and he has no personality and no control over the class. Jessi's classmates are constantly pranking him and while she feels bad, she still participates.

Every year the 6th grade does something called the 6th grade Follies, where the 6th graders do a show essentially making fun of all their teachers. This year they make it a charity event, raising money to donate. Jessi signs up for both committees (performing and financial), and her classmates convince her to dress up as Mr. Trout and make fun of him. Since all their teachers are getting made fun of, Jessi agrees even though she doesn't feel awesome about it.

So the night comes and goes and it's a huge success, but on Monday Mr. Trout doesn't show up to school. It ends up he can't take it anymore and has quit. Jessi tries to start a petition to get him to come back, which of course no one signs. Then she sends him a letter to come back, and he of course says no. Finally Jessi figures out that he maybe shouldn't be a teacher.

Also, subplot is that all the neighborhood kids decide to make a "Baby-sitters Club Follies" to make fun of the girls.

Takeaways
It drives me crazy that Stacey keeps talking about the sixth grade follies from two years ago as if she was there...because she so wasn't.

Jessi has a serious ego problem when it comes to performing. Like she 100% thinks she is going to be the star of the show, and it's kind of annoying.

Of course the race thing comes back up in this book - one of the performance committee classmates won't come to the first meeting bc it's a Jessi's house and of course it's because she's black, not because she just wanted to spend her Saturday at the mall instead.

I also thought it was weird that Jessi tried to start a petition and then wrote a letter to get the crappy teacher to come back. Like she, in any way, had a say in him getting his job back after he no called no showed.

Best Character
I don't really know. Jessi is kind of annoying in this book, and no one else really has anything to do with anything. I guess maybe Becca, because she sees Jessi working on the Follies and it's her idea to make up one about the BSC.

Worst Character
I'm going to go with Mr. Trout for being such a punk ass bitch, but Jessi is a close second for thinking that she has the power to give a guy his job back.